My friend needs help and I don't know what to tell her...Please help.

by FreedomFrog 8 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  FreedomFrog

  Hi all,

  As you all know, my son is in baseball. Of course I'm getting to know the other mothers there on the team. I've had Zach in baseball for close to 3 weeks now and he's getting closer to one boys in particular. That boys mother called me just now asking what she should do (and hoping I'd have another cap). She is divorced as well as I am and so we hit it off. The problem she is facing is that for the 3 weeks now, her son hasn't had the cleats or a baseball cap that the coach has asked each parent on the team to get. Her ex has her son today and she was planning on getting him to a store to buy him a cap and shoes right after her ex dropped her son off. The thing is, her ex is telling her that he can live another day without the cap and shoes and wasn't going to bring the son home to her in time. She's frustrated because she knows her son will be the only one out there without the "special" stuff and is afraid that this will make her son lose interest in sports all together. She's also frustrated because the "extra" activity was kinda an unplanned deal and was made within a very short period. Now, I have extra shoes, but the boy is much taller than my son is and the shoes most likely won't fit. Now she can get the shoes and cap on next practice but her son already told her that he'd feel a bit embarrassed going to practice and being the only one without the equipment. I told her that she needs to still bring her son and hope that he doesn't get too discourage that it would ruin it for him. What do you think?

  Just adding another bit what she said....it took her a lot to get him on the team in the first place and she is worried he is going to quit the team for one reason or the other and she doesn't want to give him a reason to get discouraged...
• 

  averyniceguy

  Well, that is a toughie, but she can go to www.cyberbeg.com for help.
• 

  Uzzah

  Get in touch with the coach and explain the circumstances. I am pretty certain andy coach worth his salt will make arrangements so as to not embarrass but still include the boy in practice in some way.

  Uzzah

  oh and someone needs to smack the father upside the head ...
• 

  DJK

  Your friends exhubby is an a$$. I suppose that's why he's an ex. Does he intend to bring the boy to the game? If he does he should stop on the way and pick up a hat and cleats. It wouldn't hurt him. He should be investing in quality time with his son and be more supportive in his sons interests. If money is an issue for him, they should work something out.
• 

  FreedomFrog

  He should be investing in quality time with his son and be more supportive in his sons interests.

  The "extra" activity is investing time with his son from what she's saying. Things got messed up with schedules and they (the son and the dad) decided to do it on this day. He's always there at his son's games and for a couple of practices I thought they were a married couple. I didn't know they were divorced.

  What she said was he picked him up from school and she thought that he was going to bring him home in time before the game started. But when she found out that he wasn't planning on that, she asked if he could leave earlier to get his things. He wouldn't do it. The "activity" could have been done on a different day. In fact, I think she told me that they are going to do the same activity next week with it being planned better out. Anyway, I'm gonna go through the closet and see if I can scrounged a cap for the little guy.
• 

  ex-nj-jw

  Tell her to look at the size in another pair of shoes, cleats really don't run much different that regular sneakers. Buy the cleats and hat, have them for him when he gets home!

  nj
• 

  Why Georgia

  I moderate a local Freecycle list and we have offers all the time for sporting goods and equipment. Try looking at freecycle.org and finding your local group. Join and ask for what she needs or pass the information on to her.

  Also, when my oldest played soccer we were asked to donate our old equipment/shoes/etc to the association for kids who didn't have enough money to purchase the equipment. You may want to check and see if your team does this same thing.

  I think you are very nice to care about your friend, its too bad her ex is such a jerk.

  Chrystal
• 

  Scully

  Are there other moms who have older kids that might have equipment that they can borrow until she can get him some new stuff?

  What about talking to the coach and seeing if he knows someone that might be able to set her up with some equipment?

  We also have some second-hand sporting goods stores locally - maybe if she brings in some equipment to sell, she'll be able to get a good deal or a trade on some previously used stuff for her son?
• 

  FreedomFrog

  Hi all,

  Thanks for your help. They ended up not being at the practice after all. I'm just hoping that they don't miss too many practices because the kid will lose interest in it. Like going to a gym, you go and you're all hyped on going but if you miss a few you can't seem to get motivated.

  Oh, and I think I may have confused some of you. It was the money at first but she had it and was ready to go last night to get the equipment. The problem last night was that her and her ex's schedule crashed because the schedule with the boy and the dad ended up getting a bit screwed up because of something that happened last week.

  Anyway, thanks again, I'm gonna call her later on to check on her and her son.