Heard any good anecdotes a JW?

by tioga joe 6 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  tioga joe

  I got a chuckle out of one of the past messages that related the story of a person in desperate need praying to God for help just as a JW knocked on the door. I had heard that one myself, too.

  So it got me to thinking about "JW Anecdotes" we all have heard. One I heard from my visiting Witness was during a "study" on how we must obey God's word even when man's word says not to. The story he told me was about how the husband of a JW told her that he forbade her to go "out that door" to her 3-time-a-week meeting. She had to obey God's word, so she didn't go out "that" door, she climbed out a window. Hahahha, my JW smiled at how sly they can be! (I had to ask, where in the bible - God's Word - does it say you have to attend 3 meetings a week.... but that's another discussion).

  My question is, what good JW anecdotes or urban legends have you been told?
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  badboy

  THAT IS A VERY GOOD STORYABOUT THE WIFE!
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  moggy lover

  I am not entirely sure that this is what you are looking for, but here goes: It concerns an incident that occured to me while going boor-to-door, several years ago. I was a young 'un then and living in India, where I was born of mixed British-Indian parentage.

  Anyway, there I was, with this elderly missionary lady, and we happened to call on a door that was opened by this rather portly, magnificently bewhiskered Sikh gentleman. In deference to the missionary, I allowed her to have this first call, and so she began her WT pitch. In a rash attempt to explain herself in Hindustani, a language she was ill equiped to handle, and casting around for an appropriate analogy to illustrate her point, she dramatically unfurled her umbrella, a constant companion I might add, and quoted: "God is our knickers that we need to get into to gain his protectionl!"

  To my embarrasment, and the understandable bewilderment of our householder, I quietly explained that, quite inadvertantly, the lady had mispronounced the word for umbrella [chatri] using instead the word for ladies underwear [chadi]

  Damned if the old coot did'nt take a stackful of WT mags, labouring no doubt under the misaprehension that somehow by reading them he could get into the Almighty's panties.

  Now lets see... if I hold the mag this way.... and lift my right leg that way.....

  Cheers
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  FireNBandits

  Hi Tioga Joe. I was going door to door in Ann Arbor--I used to live in A2--and I finished up on a cul-de-sac, a circle drive. I was standing there waiting for my bud Sparky (long story) to come and pick me up when an station wagon stopped right next to me, and this gal in her mid or late forties, dark hair, obese, said to me, "Hurry and get in! I'm on my lunch break and I don't have much time!" I leaned down and looked her in the eye and quietly but firmly said, "Lady I've got all the time in the world."
  
  She gasped and asked, "You aren't Johnny?"
  
  I shoook my head no, then she jerked her head straight forward and peeled out down the cul-de-sac.
  
  I often wonder what that was all about. Was she expecting some male prostitute named Johnny dressed in a cheap three piece suit and carrying a briefcase? What would have happened if I had just gotten into her SUV for the halibut? Would she have taken me to her boudoir and gotten nekkid? (Blech) Or would I have been injected with heroin and sold into a life of white slavery? Perhaps my organs would have been harvested, or maybe she was really a space alien and I would have had to play proctologist with some little greaseball space guy. You never know. Heck, I'll never know. *sigh* It might have been romantic.
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  Kudra

  F-n-B:
  
  You have to stop letting life pass you by...
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  FireNBandits

  Kudra, too true. Happily, after being stunned and shunned I leapt into life with both feet. -Martin
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  kifoy

  Hi tioga joe!
  
  I was thinking about starting a similar topic just the other day.
  
  One such anecdote came to my mind, you see. I don't remember all of it. It was quite long. But it was said to have happend in a spanish/portugeese (I think) little town. It was a catholic town, at least. When I heard it back then I thought it was sooo funny :-)
  
  The catholic church had a problem with this town, because all the priest that were sent to this place, one by one became JWs. The anecdote goes on to tell the story of each and one of them.
  
  I remember only this one partly: One priest, along with his sexton(?), was standing at a grave (or something) that had an inscription from Matthew 23:27 ("Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which on the outside appear beautiful, but inside they are full of dead men's bones and all uncleanness.")
  
  And the sexton was thinking of how it reminded him of the priest... or something. Well both the priest and the sexton became JWs, of course.
  
  Anyone heard this story? Maybe someone has got the story?
  It would have been nice to read the complete story again. :-)
  
  kifoy