JW's and Domestic Violence

by Mum 8 Replies latest jw friends

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  Mum

  It has been a long time since I left the JW organization. It seems that families may be more fractured now than back then (1979).

  Recently I was reviewing some materials about domestic violence. Some of the traits of the abuser are traits also exhibited by the Watchtower authorities -- specifically, never admitting a mistake, blaming the victim for her/his own abuse, limiting the victim's association with others, particularly family members or supportive resources.

  It follows that JW males in particular are almost programmed to become abusive. Has anyone else made these observations or does anyone else have anything to add to what is written above?

  Regards,

  SandraC
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  VanillaMocha73

  I absolutely concur. I don't think I could say it any better than you did though. It is said that young girls who grow up in a controlling or abusive household tend to marry and stay in abusive relationships. The WT Society is highly controlling and uses fear / shame to keep its members, which is abusive. Therefore, this is what women come to expect and accept.
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  DJK

  never admitting a mistake, blaming the victim for her/his own abuse, limiting the victim's association with others, particularly family members or supportive resources

  Definately the environment I grew up in. Still, I have seen non-JW families live this way. The JWs have a sick way of justifying their acts and brainwashing the victims make it easier for them to get away with it.
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  RollerDave

  Wow!

  This is an awesome point that I had never before considered.

  It sheds light on ex-wife no. 1 who had been an abuse victim prior to our marriage and kept on acting abused even though I never mistreated her, we were both in the organization so she could feel it even though I doubt she did so consciously.

  Funny thing, she's the one still dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight.

  Roller
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  Gretchen956

  Hmmm well it was an elder that told me that if my husband was abusive that it must be something I had done. Oh did I mention that elder was my dad?

  Sherry
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  Reefton Jack

  I have often wondered about this one:
  - My first introduction to Domestic Violence was after I got involved with the JWs.
  
  My non-witness parents never got on particularly well, and neither did an uncle and aunt who lived nearby.
  Also, during the four years that I was at high school, I was boarded with another family.
  None of that, though, prepared me for what I encountered after I had left home; and was accommodated with a JW family.
  I still sometimes have nightmares about that even now!
  
  Talk about "Making Your Family Life Happy."
  
  
  
  
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  ex-nj-jw

  Good point mum,

  I never thought of it that way!!

  nj
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  Insomniac

  I agree, JW culture seems to breed violence. I had the crap beaten out of me as a kid, and the elders told me it was my fault. I'm still trying to figure how a thirteen year old child getting punched in the face (broken nose, cracked cheekbone) while trying to defend herself against the sexual advances of her stepfather could be considered "her fault." A few years later, my friends from the hall started getting married...then showing up with weird bruises. It seems like a high percentage of them got abused in various ways by their husbands, and they generally stayed with the guys. Remember, Jehovah apparently hates divorce worse than he hates domestic abuse.
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  Missanna

  Yes that is the absolute truth. my father abused us as kids when he was an elder. the physical abuse stopped after a while but he is still very VERY verbally abusive. He backs all of his actions with what the watchtower says is the right way to raise a child. He has never once admitted doing anything wrong. he has shown me articles from the watchtower that have given him reason to beat us or tell me how worthless i am. So you are absolutely right.