A thread on baptism made me think about this. I remember at a circuit assembly there were about 15 people getting baptized. There were 2 "dunkers" in the pool. Then there were literally 4 brothers standing nearby the pool. Their entire job was to watch each baptismal candidate (I hate that term-sounds like they're running for a political office) as they were being dunked to make sure every square inch of their bodies was immersed all at once.
One poor tall and lanky young guy had his big toe peep out of the water the first try, so the "watchers" gathered together like football refs to make the call. FUMBLE! No, but they did make him get dunked for the 2nd time. Poor guy tried to keep his toes in, so an elbow showed or something. Once again, the football refs whispered among themselves, and NO! He must get dunked a 3rd time! I would have said 3rd time's a charm if I wasn't a dub then.
I briefly thought at the time how the micromanagement they displayed completely distracted from the seriousness and meaning of the occasion. That's the dubs for ya - they'd micromanage how you use the toilet if they could.
The funny thing was, after LDB and I got baptized, we went home and turned on the TV to find a Sunday afternoon football game on. Just at that time, the ref was declaring the call. He made the motion where one arm is crossed over to the other and the other hand was up near his face. LDB and I busted up laughing because it was almost identical to the way you have to hold your arms and hold your nose closed with the one free hand when you get dunked. It was like he was announcing "Baptize, number 49; 10 yard penalty!"
OK, so share some funny baptismal stories, will ya?