I am not sure whether it is chronic illness or just experience in life that has changed me. But I think I really understand some things that can't be taught except through experience.
I was told by a jw today to find someone else to do business with. We have been dealing with him for 25 years, my entire family. But since I no longer attend the hall, I have noticed he was very uncomfortable dealing with us. He never bothered to ask why we were missing in action. I am pretty sure he was afraid of the answer.
As I walked away from him, I really felt sorry for him and wanted to reach out to him. He looked so old and I knew he had to wonder about this paradise he had been promised and this never having to die. It just had to go through his mind as we parted just as it went through mine.
It was a very surreal moment. He actually seemed to fade in front of me as I walked away. He had shut the door of his tender compassions on me and 25 years just withered away.
It made me think of a scripture actually. The one that says to learn what it means, I want mercy and not sacrifice.