As my dear hubby insists on posting things about women. We can get our own back.
Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.
Q. How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
A. Put the remote control between his toes.
Q. What are a woman's four favorite animals?
A. A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom, and a Jackass to pay for it all.
Q. Why do men get married?
A. So they don't have to hold their stomachs in anymore.
Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
What did GOD say after He created man? "I can do better than this."
And just for you Simon
A programmer was crossing a road when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess". So he picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The programmer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."
Again the guy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What's the matter ? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why wont you kiss me ?"
The programmer said, "Look, I'm a programmer, I really don't have time for a beautiful princess.. but a talking frog - now that's cool !"