JW chick just joined my sports team

by sass_my_frass 8 Replies latest jw friends

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  sass_my_frass

  A guy I work with organises three teams entering a little lunchtime sports competition. I joined in last season for the first time, and this season Mr Frass joins my team also. I just got the team list, and it looks like a last-minute entry on my team is the only JW in the building. She barely knows me (it's a big office) but would have seen me around and know I'm out (dfd), but I don't think she knows my new name, so wouldn't know that she should be alarmed about going along to play next week.

  I told the organiser about the situation, and that she's likely to want to switch teams, but I think she'll just quit, which is a bummer because we're always short of females. I've worked out why I'm unhappy about the situation; here I am getting on with my life and having fun with my friends, some of whom I've known from work for a few years and some of whom are newer friends I've made since moving back. All it takes is one shunning event to make everything awkward and suckful. Also, it's a work thing, so my team are also distant colleagues, and if it gets talked about, I just know it will be me who turns out to be the bad guy, just for mentioning religion (the untouchable PC topic).

  Goddammit, these guys were my friends first!! *pout*
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  Crumpet

  Strictly speaking she should not shun you. I had this issue in my last workplace and there was a JW mechanic in the workshop and a JW cleaner in the showroom. I was their HR manager so they had to talk to me if they wanted to get paid, but as I still respected the dubs at that point I spoke to them and asked if they would rather someone else dealt with since they discriminated against me (mwahahahahhahah). They took it to the BOE and were told that in business scenario's conversations with ex JWS or DFed ones is perfectly fine. So yeah money talks and cancels out the shun process.
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  Stephanus

  Just tell her the team's decided to go with Naked Twister instead...
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  penny2

  I can imagine how you feel - work is a place where you can be yourself and forget about the stress of having been a JW. Now there is a possibility that there is going to be an awkward situation and the focus could be on you.

  I think you need to look at this differently though. If there is a shunning event, she will be the one to look silly. If it gets talked about, you won't be the bad guy. Everyone will be feeling sorry for you. And while no-one likes to talk about religion, they do love to talk about stupid religious practices such as shunning.

  In a previous job, half the people I worked with were related to JWs (it was a very small office). They were constantly gossiping about the crazy things that happen. I never let on that I used to be one and I didn't take part in the conversations either. But it did give me an insight into how non-JWs feel. They sympathized greatly with the exiting and out of favour JWs in the family and had no tolerance for the narrowminded attitudes of their witness relatives.

  Most people prefer to blend in so maybe the JW at your workplace is "broadminded" (she is after all playing sport, which is unusual). Shunning is such an obviously stupid practice - I can't imagine anyone putting it into practice at work, but you never know!

  Hope it works out.

  penny2
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  Mum

  Interesting post. I was just recalling an episode of the TV show My Wife and Kids in which Serena Williams appeared. Damon Wayans was brought up as a JW (which I think I learned on freeminds.org) and Serena is an active (?) JW. Life is going to bring "apostates" into contact with JW's more and more as our numbers grow. I used to have a JW co-worker and have taken a class partially taught by two JW's. I just keep things professional and don't mention my past.

  Don't worry about your teammate. You can treat her like anyone else. If she chooses to shun you, she is the one who will look like a jerk.

  I would be interested in others' stories of unexpected encounters with JW's.

  Regards,

  SandraC
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  unique1

  Ah, just let it be. She may be fading for all you know or a sympathizer like I was for many years. I would always speak to Ex-JW's even though I was in good standing. Just play the games and don't mention religion. Let her do it if she has an issue. Let her look like an idiot and trust me everyone will see her as one. When my parents shunned me in a restaurant, my friends couldn't believe it. They were shocked and they didn't blame me, they blamed my parents. So show up, hang with your friends and play a great game. Don't let her spoil your fun. Rise above.
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  willyloman

  If she bending the no competition rule, she may not be as firmly anchored to the dubs as you think. Perhaps you'll become friends and you can help her on her journey.
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  Gopher

  Much of what we worry about in life doesn't materialize. This workmate might play the 'arrogant JW' role, or she may just have fun with it and cause no harm.

  If she plays the arrogant JW, then as a previous poster said, everyone will see her as an idiot.

  I have talked to many workmates about how my parents treat me (shunning). I have yet to find anyone who has sympathized to any degree with my parents. Everyone has agreed that religion shouldn't cancel out family or friendships.
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  sass_my_frass

  If it gets talked about, you won't be the bad guy.

  I dunno... I hear scraps of gossip that indicate to me that the JW whitewash machine does a pretty good job. The other day my nan told me about something she'd told her counsellor; she'd mentioned that her daughter (my mum) has been through a trauma (meaning mum is traumatised by me being disfellowshipped). It seems that mum has done an excellent propaganda job on why the siblings don't talk to me anymore. I think everybody thinks it's me who doesn't talk to them.

  I think this girl still lives with her parents; another poster here knows her and says she's very conservative, so I'm glad for her that she's playing sports with folks from work. Still, I'm pretty sure she'll not consider it a work-related thing, and pull out of the team as soon as she knows I'm in. It's just a lunchtime game. She'll probably immediately decide that this is why Jehovah says we shouldn't associate with workmates; we never know when we'll run into scary apostates. Satan is clearly behind her involvement in the game in the first place.