I've read a number of post here that make the point that as a J-dub a lot of decisions are based on appearances and not real christian love. For example when one commits a sin the elders view as worthy of DF'ing they may or may not DF' the person depending on how many people know about their "sin". If no one really knows about it the elders will sometimes only privately reprove such a person.
This is so wrong! Especially in the case where a woman (girl) gets pregnant. She is always "automatically" DF'd because people know or will eventually know of her "sin". Instead of whether "God" truly sees that this person is "repentent" or not, they consider how "people" will view her and the "organization". I have known many cases where the girl is automatically DF'd in a case like this , but the (JW) guy involved with her is not DF'd at all (just privately reproved)-- mainly because his belly will not be showing the evidence of his "sin". How can they possibly justify this? It should be (as they say) if a person is "repentent" they should show mercy and just talk to them and readjust their thinking.
Personally, I still believe in God even though I am no longer a JW and I believe he can forgive your sins in an instant by prayer alone. I don't believe a person needs a body of elders to determine if they are sorry for what they've done. That's one reason I don't believe in the the whole DFing process. And on top of that, a person has to wait 6 months or 1 year to even be considered for reinstatement! That's such a load of BS. I dont believe God himself has a timetable like that for forgiveness. I believe he can forgive in an instant. Its all man made rules as far as I'm concerned.
If the elders were truly only interested in helping people and trying to determine their hearts and based their decisions on such, they would not have such an unfair rule as this. I have a close JW relative that this has recently happen to. She got pregant and was DF'd but the guy was not. Also 3 years ago the same thing happened with a close cousin. This is so unfair!!!