by Grout 7 Replies latest jw friends
I'm pondering whether to go back to my congregation of record and make an issue of my departure, or just carry on with my new and happy non-JW life.
I'm sure that there are many here who have followed each of these paths.
What advice would you offer?
Actually, the method that scares them the most is the immediate drift away technique.
Just STOP going to meetings, service, whatever, all at once. Then when they come around to 'encourage' you, rebuff them by saying you're very happy with your spirituality and not in need of a visit!
They won't know what to make of it.
The worst is how the individuals will treat you. Since you're not DFd or DAd, they won't know what to make of a well-adjusted, successful and happy human being who has no need of the Kingdumb Hall!
When you see them in public, speak boldly. Be friendly.
It'll confuse the hell out of em. That's what I did. I did it so good it even worked on the internet where I had a reputation as a dyed in the wool dub. LOL.
LDH1, thank you for your comment. But I can't really do what you did. You see, I stopped going in field service for about a year before I finally decided to quit. No one in any KH has seen me for a long time, and the most recent KH I attended hardly got to know my name because I had just moved in when I finally dropped out.
(I had serious problems getting motivated. Consider: If God is just, then each person's survival depends on only his actions and character. Therefore, whether other people live or die can't possibly depend on me. So, what's the big deal with field service? If I don't go, and someone has to go, won't God arrange for it to happen? I asked a C.O. about that once; he got all flustered, almost frightened, and basically told me to get back to work. Thanks heaps.)
it's entirely up to you, of course. But if you have any family inside that you would like to hold on to, you may want to consider just going your merry way like you have been.
I didn't have that option. I miss my JW family less and less as time goes on because I realize that we have absolutely nothing in common and there is nothing that I could talk to them about if they wouldtalk to me.
Just my thoughts. Good luck whatever way you choose.
essie
While I agree with LDH1 about how you should act around other JW's I say go out with as big of a bang as you possibly can. Then when you see other JW's out in public go be as nice as you can to them. That's what I do and man is it a blast!!!
I don't need to fight
To prove I'm right
I don't need to be forgiven.
They will isolate you from the congregation, depending, right?
So, I reason to know exactly what you want to achieve. Is it for yourself or for others trapped. Figure a shrew way to achieve it and plan it best you can.
If you're there to expose the WT for what it is, perhaps--away from the hall--do one-on-one with those hurting needing love, with those showing signs of being able to think and reason for themselves.
You might go to congregation(s) where they don't know you, and test doing your thing. If they don't know you and you want immediate contact, go to their bulletin board and starting reading everything. They will start to gather around you to find out what you are doing [this was my experience].
They usually have immediate primary questions usually, right.
What is your name?; Where are you from? I would use a new name.
Overall, you have a good chance to help if you can do it. When you quit have a written statement ready. Give the statement out to as many as you can before you give it to an elder. This way they can't lie about why you quit, right. And they will lie if they want to. Here is the way I quit:
I stood up. “May I have your attention a moment.” The faces were typical: pious, scorning, wide-eyed with indignant surprise, and accusing. I had broken the pecking-order control system of the congregation. Without authorized introduction, I had spoken out to the congregation in bold reckless urgency.
“I would like to announce that as of this moment, I am no longer one of Jehovah’s Witness. I now disassociate myself from the Columbia Heights Congregation [Minnesota] of Jehovah’s Witnesses. [Actually, I realized later that I was excommunicating the Watchtower organization en masse.] [I am proud of what I did.]
An elder rushed up to me and tore the paper I was reading out of my hand. I didn’t care much since I was going to give it to him anyway. Three days later this elder called me and said, “We have decided to accept your dissociation,” as though only they could decide if I could quit. What arrogance, I thought! Later they lied to the congregation that I had been “disfellowshipped,” as though they had some grounds for using their form of religious excommunication. Little did I know I was graduating from the third grade that I had been kept in for so long spiritually.
Thomas, thanks for the post...it's a darn shame...I know what you mean.
ashi
Thomas: Beautiful mental picture there, of your speaking out of turn. The whole congregation will remember you vividly for many, many years.
Esmeralda: Thanks for the reminder. I still have three brothers who are going to meetings; one of them is independent enough to stay in touch with me no matter what the JW org says, but the other two may not. I'll have to consider what I'm willing to give up before I go ahead with any approach.
