Breaking the news to my family this week....if I can get up the nerve!!!

by Juniper 5 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Juniper

  So, here's the deal....I've spent the last two years riding the 'inactive' train and it's gone pretty smoothly. But it's gotten to the point where I have to tell my folks that I don't intend to ever go back.

  I've been putting it off because I know my dad will want to hear exactly why I want to do this, and then (obviously) try and 'reason' with me to think otherwise.

  I love my family a lot, but I can't lie to them anymore and continue to blame my lack of meeting attendance on fabricated excuses.

  I'm trying to find a way to just say that I don't want to do it anymore without having it turn into a theological argument. The truth of the matter is that I don't beleive in the religion or a lot of the ways that they control their members. The farther away I get from it, the more skeeved out I get when I think about it!

  Anyone have any stories they could share with me, or perhaps some things they said to their families that helped? My biggest concern is to not let this turn in to a 'battle of words'.

  Thanks for all your support! :)
• 

  dawg

  Hand him your bible, and ask him to show you where it says that you don't have right to question men; ask him to show you where in the bible it says that questioning men is an act of apostacy that should result in shunning.
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  Mum

  Telling JW's something so earth shattering to them and expecting it not to turn into a battle of words is unrealistic. I don't think you need to explain yourself to them. You have a right to live your life as you choose. You owe them gratitude and respect as your parents but not an explanation of why you think, feel or live as you choose. If you believe you must do this, proceed with caution. It might be a good idea to consult a psychologist/therapist or some sort of "spin doctor" before you proceed. Tweaking your words can make all the difference.

  Regards and best wishes,

  SandraC
• 

  Juniper

  I totally agree that I don't want to explain myself at all. But I also love and respect my folks and want this to be as lowkey as I can possibly make it.

  I'm hoping I can find some 'cut and dry' thing to say to them. I kind of thought that if I told them I would speak to an elder here in my area, that they could harass him instead of me. :) Then, I could just call him and say whatever it is I want to say. I dunno. I guess there's no easy way to do this! ***sigh***
• 

  4JWY

  I told my dad point blank, "I'm not coming back" as he tried to encourage me to return after taking what he referred to as the "break from the meetings" he assumed my family and I had taken.

  I explained that we are now using our own brains. God given if they be - meant to be activated individually.

  Just as there are no two snowflakes alike, who I am, differs from who you are, personalities are unique.

  No one will convince me I should take mine off and put on a homogenous one. Everyone finds their own truth.

  All the best to you

  4JWY
• 

  changeling

  I agree with Mum.