Advice needed.......

by fifi40 6 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  fifi40

  I recently wrote a thread about my son who is being brought up in the JW religion by his dad, his dad and I share custody, so 4 or 5 nights of the week he stays with us............tonight I was taking him over to his dads (Tuesday night meeting routine) and he was telling me about a school trip he is due to go on at then end of term..............he said his dad had filled in the medical consent form but had put NO to the blood transfusion question...................I have been away for a couple of days and I usually get these forms first and I fill them in according to my beliefs not the governing body's...........anyway I said to him that if the school refused to allow him on the trip because of his dad saying No to blood I would do another form for him.............to which he replied that he wouldnt want me to and that his dad had said he would take him to Alton Towers (the theme park his year are going to) if the school declined to take him.......

  So where do I stand with this, does anyone know..............if my son required blood (he is a minor, 14) would my wishes over rule his fathers, would my wishes over rule my own son's (he is not baptised)???

  I also spoke with him about several other things, briefly summarised as

  1. Just because you are taught something from birth does not mean it is right.

  2. I want him to check out things for himself thoroughly before he commits himself to the JWs and I spoke to him about the consequences of getting baptised in relation to me and to any future thought changes he might make in the future.

  3. I told him Jesus was not baptised until he was 30ish and that getting baptised in your late teens is probably not always the best idea. He asked me why so many do then? To which I answered that there is a lot of pressure from the platform and parents.

  I think you will be getting the picture...............

  So in light of this it is likely I am going to be 'invited' to speak to his 'devout' JW father tonight (about the things I said to Alex), when he brings him back..........any advice on what tack I should take......

  Thank you in advance for your help

  Fifi
• 

  misanthropic

  his dad and I share custody

  
  Do you share custody 50/50 or does one of you have physical custody and you have joint care? Why I'm asking is because I thought one person was liable for the childs medical care and if you hold that then I don't see how 'dad' can say anything in the matter at all.
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  fifi40

  Hi Misanthropic.....................50/50 it never went to Court or anything like that it was just agreed mutually between his dad and myself.

  Fi
• 

  fifi40

  Oh and dont forget we dont pay for medical insurance over here, unless we opt to privately, thanks to the National Health Service.
• 

  VanillaMocha73

  There is a form you can legally file with the doctors, schools, wherever you think it needed. It is a Word document (I have it on my PC) that basically states that, although other parents may say no to blood, this is NOT your view and you WILL give consent if the doctor checks with you. You can notarize it and just keep it filed with whichever parties might need the information. I downloaded it from somewhere, but I can't remember where, so if you want it, send me a PM with your email and I will send it to you.
• 

  ninja

  kill the dad and buy the boy a scouts outfit....problem solved....why do women make it so awkward?
• 

  AlphaOmega

  Did you go to mediation at all ?

  Do you have a written agreement between yourselves?

  Do you and your ex still have the same GP practice? If not, who is your son registered with ?

  I don't know if that carries any weight, but it's a thought...

  Also, I am wondering whether the same ruling applies here in the UK as the CSA use, they generally only consider the parent who has their name on the "child benefit book" as the "resident parent".

  Hope that helps a bit

  AO