Become a Watchtower Writer ! (sort of)

AlphaOmega

Here is the challenge...

You are all well versed in Watchtower logic and their ability to link Bible passages that have no connections, so...

I was wondering whether anyone can post articles or snippets of articles that we could write in WT style to "prove" unlikely beliefs.

A good example would be the "Are Cats for Christians" - however, I am not thinking of anything as long as that.

This will have a serious application - to show by humour that WT logic can be used to prove anything and still make it look scriptural.

Any takers ?

AK - Jeff

Should Christians Render Sacred Service [Worship - 'abohlah (Hebrew) ] to the Governing Body?

11 The Hebrew word for 'worship' is 'a-boh-dah , meaning literally 'service', regardless of to whom it is rendered. The submission of Jesus to John, though John was not the 'faithful slave' Jesus later referred to, shows that Jesus recognized his positional authority as arranged by Jehovah for the moment. In fact, Jesus stated to John at that point leading up to this momentous event in human history; " Let it be this time, for in that way it is suitable for us to carry out all that is righteous." Jesus understood that he personally would not always be available to direct matters personally, and that both he and Jehovah would make sure that his servants were protected and directed in matters of importance. Matthew 3:14

12 So having seen that Jesus subjected himself even to John the Baptiser in this matter, does this mean that Christians should allow the 'faithful and discreet slave' class of Matthew 24: 45, 46 to direct them in the capacity of the Christ? Should Christians view this specially appointed body as an extention of Jesus' direct authority? Should they subject themselves to this direction in the same way they would subject themselves to Jesus himself? Jesus is our 'master'. He has appointed this slave. Simply stated, why should we resist? Jesus even counselled his apostles to be respecting the work of a man considered demonized by the general population with the words, 'He that is not against us, is for us.' Matthew 9:40

...

16 So, as we have seen, though Christians do not bow in obesience to anyone but Jehovah, they might properly render service, 'a-boh-dah' to anyone whom Jehovah has appointed to act in a capacity of leadership. Though that sort of appointment is reserved to special persons and groups, today we recognize that the 'faithful and discreet slave' class does indeed occupy such an appointment. Thus, though our 'worship' [a-boh-dah] is in this case relative, it is seemingly scripturally proper. May we then follow them, as they follow Christ, and lead us into the righteous new order immediately ahead.

outnfree

LMAO at Jeff!!!
Well done!

BizzyBee

Excellent, Jeff! That could actually fly on any sleepy Sunday afternoon WT study.............the cadence is perfect....hypnotic even....

.......a-boh-dah....GB......I....am.....get....ting....slee.....py........yes, Master......I....a-boh-dah...you......

AlphaOmega

Jeff,

That is the work of a Genius, were you Bethel-trained ?

AK - Jeff

Jeff,
That is the work of a Genius, were you Bethel-trained ?

Might just of well have been. I handed 'em my mind when I was just 5 years old. I finally snatched it back when I was 48. It took a bit of cleaning, but it seems to still be in working order, though a little indoctrination remains apparently.

Jeff

R.F.

LOL!!!! Omg Jeff that's genius!!

I almost choked on my water!!

If a GB member is reading there are probably kicking themselves since they have come up with it yet.

edmond dantes

Many brothers have asked Should Bo Peep's attitude affect our theocratic thinking in dealing with the evil apostates and should we follow her fine example of seeking out lost sheep who have turned away from Jehovah 's loving provision .Many have asked should we really cast pearls before swine or are the goat like ones typified in the example set by Bahlamms ass.Let us examine the evidence as set forth in the book of like minded childrens stories.Some who were once true followers of rightousness have turned away from the grand example of loving kindness as shown in the new publication Nursery Rymes Are They For You(Donate now for and get tax relief.)

Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep and doesn't know where to find them.

Of course she doesn't know where to find them or else they wouldn't be lost now would they.

But leave them alone, oh yes ,leave them alone; and then they have the audacity to say ,they will come home.They will definately come home .It's in the book.

And then they will come home, wagging their tails behind them.Where did they expect them to wagg them? In front.

So let us follow like minded believers ,such as the world famous accademic annointed one brother F. Franz , dearly departed,and all the rest of those lording it over you who reside in Brooklyn.

moggy lover

OK, here's one:

1 We are to love our enemies right? [Matt 5:44]

2 Satan is our enemy [1Pet 5:8]

3 Therefore we must love satan [Which may explain why the GB resorts to such occult practices as consulting the dead, like taking direction from already dead members of the FDS]

Here's another:

1 We must love our enemies [Matt 5:44]

2 Death is our enemy [1 Cor 15:26]

3 So we must love death, rather than life, so, after leaving all our property to the GB, the only purpose we may serve is to commit suicide.

Hell, while we're on a roll lets have another:

1 Elohim created the universe: Gen 1:1

2 According to the WTS the judges of Israel were elohim [Ps 82:6]

3 Therefore the judges of Israel created the universe.

Ouch! My brain hurts

Cheers

Nathan Natas

Jeff, you have given me new insight:

Jesus understood that he personally would not always be available to direct matters personally,

So was Jesus not aware of his impending resurrection, or was he just not so sure it would work?

Become a Watchtower Writer ! (sort of)

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