IT'S OBI ANN KENOBI Oct 13 2001
THE Jedi faith has now been officially recognised as a religion by the Office of National Statistics, because thousands of people wrote "Jedi Knight" on their 2001 census forms.
That makes me furious, not because I hate the Star Wars trilogy (although I did once waste £5 on a ticket for one, under the mistaken impression that it was a film about cricket called The Umpire Strikes Back), but because I wanted to have my religion officially recognised too.
In case you've never encountered my religion before, our spiritual leader is Ann Widdecombe (so you'll appreciate that we're definitely not a charismatic sect), and our spiritual mantra is "there's one born again every minute". And in case you're wondering what we're called, we're known as Jehovis Witnesses. Because we're only in it for the bread.
My religion will never be recognised by the ONS because, back in April, I never received a form from them. So I phoned them yesterday, to see why they hadn't sent me one. According to them, I was just too nondescript to influence the demographics one way or another, so they'd decided not to bother. Charming.