ACTUAL SENTENCES FOUND IN HOSPITAL PATIENT CHARTS

by Dansk 7 Replies latest social humour

  • Dansk
    Dansk

    ACTUAL SENTENCES FOUND IN HOSPITAL PATIENT CHARTS:

    Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
    On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
    The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
    The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
    Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
    Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
    The patient refused autopsy.
    The patient has no previous history of suicide.
    Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
    Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40lb weight gain in the past 3 days.
    Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
    She is numb from her toes down.
    While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
    Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
    Patient was alert and unresponsive.
    She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
    I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
    The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
    The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
    Skin: somewhat pale but present.
    Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

    Ian

  • free2think
    free2think

    LMAO Ian. Where'd you get this from?

  • Dansk
    Dansk
    Where'd you get this from?

    My dearest sent it on to me. She works in a hospital!

    Ian

  • free2think
    free2think

    OMG. That's so funny.

  • Mysterious
    Mysterious

    Rofl I love those kinds of humor pieces. My boyfriend is in stitches as well.

  • purplesofa
    purplesofa

    I am at work at a hospitol right now and laughing outloud, all alone.

    Thanks for a great start to my day.

    purps

  • crazyblondeb
    crazyblondeb

    Ian-

    That's way to funny. What's sad is how true those kind of sentences are. Especially after pulling long, tiring shifts, and your brain can no longer even function, much less try and do something prductive!! I have had my share of those "brilliant statements". I've also seen doctors come up with some classics!!

    Thanks Ian, hope you and Claire are good!

    love ya-shell snoopy

  • juni
    juni

    Thanks for the laugh Ian! Makes you go!

    Love to you and Claire. Juni

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