I have spoke once to my parents..

mrsjones5

In the last year.

Some of you may remember a little bit of what happened last year when my family and I went to visit my parents - big fiasco, cops were called and we were thrown out - so I just had no desire to have any interaction with my parental units. I don't call, they've called a few times to speak to the kids (they called it checking on them like I'm some deranged person). I shut that down by sending them a letter telling them that if they couldn't bring themselves to speak to me or my husband then they couldn't speak to the kids.

About a month after that my father calls, speaks to my husband then asks to speak to me. I spoke to him, I was nice, not much was said mostly talked about the kids. My father said mother couldn't come to the phone cuz she was busy getting ready for company and my sister to arrive. I didn't bit, didn't want to speak to her anyway. Spoke to my sister a few days after that. She told me that our parents wanted to come visit to see the kids and maybe I should call mother to see when would be a good time. That was about 3 weeks ago, I haven't called them yet. Why should I? If they want to see the kids shouldn't they call me?

Sigh

Josie

unique1

Yep, they certainly should. Stand your ground.

Mrs Smith

They can call you. Unless you really want to see them and mend fences?

ex-nj-jw

I would let them do the groveling! If they want to see your children they have to play by your rules.

nj

free2think

I agree, let them do some grovelling. I think that's so cheeky ringing to talk to your children and saying they're just checking on them.

dogon

What ever you do you need to be in control, do not let them work things around. they need to visit if you decied to let them, on your terms.

You need to have some ground rule,

1] they can not talk religion to the kids, if this rule is broken even once, they are gone form the kids lives.

2] they need to accecpt you and your husbands life styles, and not critisize you for what you do or believe. or they are gone.

3] they are not to try to "bring you back to the fold" they will have a live and let live attitude.

If any of these rules are broken or not agreed to, then they can sit and spin.

if you do not keep to your guns you will be beat in a corner by these people.

Paralipomenon

First they need to show they can handle a relationship with their own children before you can let them have access to your own.

Love doesn't skip generations.

mrsjones5

Sit and spin - love the visual lol

My kids are so adaptable and forgiving. I think if I let my parents see the kids they wouldn't mind but I know my parents. They've been jws for too long to let it go just like that. It will be fine for a while (a short while) then shit will hit the fan again. My parents can't stand the fact that we go to church, they have the attitude that church is a training grounds for criminals and my kids are thieves in training (that was proved by them accusing the kids of stealing an iPod and inferring that I was aware of it and would just stand by).

Oh and that checking quip - that's a favorite ploy of my mother. When she can't get her way or if we catch her in a lie she like to push it on us and say that we are the crazy ones not her. Did that to me last year when they called the cops. Cop came in and mother was screaming downstairs "She's crazy, she's crazy!" Cop saw me and had this look of concern on his face that said "you poor thing to have to put up with this crazy screamnig woman."

I can't do it, I've set up this boundary and I'm not ready to take it down or compromise unless I see something different. You better believe I'm not holding my breath.

dawg

I agree with Dogon, set parameters

I have spoke once to my parents..

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