Come what may.

Paralipomenon

Every couple of weeks my family gets together for a group supper. This has long been a tradition of ours. We alternate who hosts each time for variety, but when it's my brother's turn, he has often invited over people from his congregation as well. Usually this isn't much of a problem. People suspect I'm inactive, but nobody knows exactly where I live and by extension what hall I would be going to if I was attending.

Coming up this weekend it's time for family dinner at my brother's place again and true to form, he's invited over a family from my parent's congregation. Usually I just avoid the witness conversations and nobody really asks. This weekend might be a bit different. Recently I've decided that I'm tired of the charade and keeping up the appearances of being a witness.

Even though I stopped going years ago, I still allow it's influence into my life by avoiding overt signs that I'm not a witness.

So back to this weekend. I can foresee a potential issue as I now have a goatee. For some reason, facial hair seems to be a worse sin than smoking. It's like a huge neon sign saying "I'm not going to meetings and screw your rules". I hadn't even thought of it when I started growing it.

You never know how an elder is going to react. But I guess I'll find out his weekend.

Que sera sera.

Bumble Bee

One of the first things my husband did when we became inactive was grow a beard! We had a portrait taken - him with full beard. His mother wasn't too happy, but still put the picture up on the wall for all to see (she has alot of people from bethel over all the time).

He met some witnesses last week on his job while they were out in service. The one was an old family friend and she commented on his gotee. He replied "it's just hair, what's the big deal" and left it at that.

It is hard and tiring putting up the facade of still being "in". We did that for some time with my inlaws. Now they know we don't go to meetings anymore and so far so good.

BB

nvrgnbk

as I now have a goatee

Bad apostate! Shame on you!

Mariusuk.

A t shirt with an american flag on may work better lol

undercover

Growing a beard and letting my hair grow out was one of the first things that I did when I realized the "truth" wasn't true. I always wanted a beard and I never understood the JW rule against them.

Growing a beard/goatee or letting your hair grow long or dressing "to extremes" is a sure sign to JWs that you are inactive. Some will attempt to "encourage" you, some will be downright nosy, asking why your inactive and some will actually avoid you, be afraid of you.

I remember years ago it was stated from a talk that when you see someone at an assembly or meeting that is not dressed to Witness standards, they are either coming or going. Of course we all accepted that it was a bad thing to be different and we became afraid of being different and sticking out. Now when I am in the company of JWs, I enjoy being different. I stand out to them and they may be afraid of it, but I know that I'm being true to myself and not to somebody else's idea of conformity.

Paralipomenon

Coping with leaving the witnesses:

Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Guilt
Depression
Loneliness
Acceptance
Beard (men only)

elliej

My family was in Culvers one Sunday afternoon and we sat next to a table full of what appeared immediately to me to be witnesses. I mentioned it to my husband and then quickly changed my mind; both of the the men at the table had goatees. Everything else screamed JW to me, but that facial hair told me otherwise. I was wrong. They Jehovahed their way through the whole meal and then one of the little girls bragged that when she went up to get her free custard that she told them she was a witness. I wasn't aware that goatees were acceptable, but they seem to be in my area.

Honesty

Just make sure it is trimmed.

If they ask tell them you were in the DRAMA at the DC and it looked so good you decided to keep it for awhile longer than necessary.

greendawn

Back in the 1980's when I grew a beard nobody said anything so I suppose it is a regional or national thing some dubs or congos are more fanatical and legalistic than others. For beards especially there is no Biblical backing for banning it, it is just a whim of the leadership like many other silly restrictions they impose.

Metamorphosis

I currently only shave on days i actually go to a meeting - so Sundays and sometimes Thursdays. I live in a small town and so frequently run into other witnesses with my 3-4 day growth and i get strange looks even from that. give me a break - if God didn't want hair on my face he wouldn't put it there.

Morph - 'sticking w/ stubble'

Come what may.

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