Did You See Congregations Polarized by Gossip? How was it resolved?

flipper

Hello folks. In some congregations I went to, there were such class distinctions due to cliques and personality conflicts that you could almost draw a line down the middle of the kingdom hall separating people. I had one elder tell me and the ex-wife to stop associating with his believing daughter who lived with him, in good standing, because as he put it,"she's on slippery ground". Why did he say that? Because she was revealing dark family secrets to the body of elders that would bust him as an elder! So he thought she should be dissed! I just said,"Oh! thank you" to him, and proceeded to associate with her anyway. Gossip was and is never good as it always has as it's motive the putting of someone down to further one's selfish motive or intentionally hurt others. The elders in that cong. gave a local needs talk saying," No one should tell you not to associate with anybody unless it's announced from this platform.Don't listen to them." So the elder 's head turned three sheets of red, knowing this talk was referring to what he had said about his daughter. So it was resolved. Dude ended up getting removed as an elder and moved. But it divided the congregation while it happened. People were either pro-daughter or pro-elder.So what about you folks? Did you have these things happen? How were they resolved? Or were they? What did you learn from these things? Peace to you all. Mr. Flipper

BizzyBee

I once dated a young man from a very flashy, downright "sexy" JW family - Papa and mama, both tall and good-looking, well-dressed, and three handsome sons in their early 20's. (It was gossiped that mama would sashay through the house totally nude in front of her kids.)

Well, Papa falls for a younger, quite glamorous sister. So, he divorces mama, gets df'd, marries his young tootsie, and goes through the procedure to get reinstated. This whole scenario was watched by the entire congregation, with most being completely gob-smacked and not in a good way. Papa actually got to have his cake and eat it, too, it seemed. This generated so much gossip, that when his reinstatement was announced, the PO actually said, "And if anyone has a problem with this, you are welcome to come and talk to me about it after the meeting." Well, quite a large contingency took him up on that offer! He was somewhat non-plussed because I think his offer was rhetorical. He was quite annoyed and basically said to those who showed up, "You have a problem - you need to mind your own business! This is Jehovah's business and He calls the shots!"

troubled mind

The congregation I had been in for the past 28 yrs. was the epidemy of gossip spreaders . Always has been always will be .

Back in the 80's the gossip was so bad that a special elder body JC was brought in and removed five of the elders ! Some people were reproved and a special talk was given by the visiting brother about Gossip afterwards all the elders, elders wives and several families got up crying and hugging .... A Bethel Elder was sent in to whip everyone back in shape . For a couple of years it was better , but now it is right back were it was . One of the biggest reliefs of no longer attending is being free of all the back biting and jealous nosiness .

Gregor

I grew up in an extended JW family of grandparents, aunt & uncle. The Uncle was a Cong servant forever, then an elder. He shared every private matter with my aunt, who in turn shared it with my Grandmother and mother. I remember as a small child listening to conversations among the womenfolk at home that were R rated. This stuff then got mixed in with general gossip and it formed a lasting impression on me of the lack of love there was for each other in the cong. Maybe that's why when I became an elder I never told my wife anything. One of the things I disliked about being an elder was having people regularly come to me with gossip and accusations about others. We elders were obligated to investigate and approach the accused. This often turned into ugly situations.

juni

Oh most definitely Mr. Flipper. Resolved? The elders would give a talk about it, but it continued probably because THE WORST offender was the PO's wife. It would get so tiresome I finally worked by myself in the field ministry. It sickened me so badly to see good people being maligned. I talked w/this PO's wife about it and she would watch her mouth for awhile and soon she'd be back at it.

I tried to get the sisters to "shut up" , but it continued so I went on my own.

Juni

drew sagan

Very much so.

I've only been on this earth a short while and have a very limited amount of experience with people. With that said I can honestly say that the kind of bitterness and strife present in the congregations I was a part of was shameful. The divisions between families and friends was very obvious. The amazing thing was hearing the Elders complain about it all. They where the main cause of the problem! They all let their wives run the gossip train and did nothing about it, even joining in from time to time.

Elders would complain about other elders to their wives and other members of the congregation. Nobody was truly happy with each other. So much division was there.

I know of a few people there who basically said 'how can I go out into the community and try to bring people into this when I don't even want to be here?'

greendawn

When a young guy participated of the bread and wine there was a lot of gossip about him with one JW woman being particularly virulent about the issue. I once told her to shut up and not judge and put down anyone and that the future would show everyone's character. She had forced her three children to get baptised in 1973 at the ages of 9 to 12 because supposedly Armageddon was near. They later all left the JWs.

flipper

Thanks all of you. Good replies. Bizzy Bee- Blows my mind the elders invited people from the cong. to talk with them about their decision. Boy was that opening Pandora's Box?? Troubled Mind- Boy, I second your comments. It was always a drag to listen to somebody drone on about other people's faults all the while not admitting faults of their own. Gregor- You're so right, it is a lack of love which promotes gossip. Why can't people just get along? Juni- Trying to shut up some of these gossipers? Difficult. It almost made me want to pack duct tape in my bookbag to tape their mouths up so they'd stop talking. Drew- So true. We went in the ministry to help people come into what? Dissension, backbiting, the most loving organization on earth, "alledgedly" ? Please hand me my paper bag while I yank. Hope you're doing O.K. Drew, hang in there buddy

Rebirth

You just nailed it. This is what truly showed me that they weren't god's chosen org. I kept remembering the scripture that talked about god's true org having love amongst themselves. Right. I don't think so.

flipper

Rebirth- Yes. It really shows they don't have the identifying mark of love when they spread gossip! Of my 30 to 40 years of being a witness I remember at least 4 or 5 occurences where congregations had to be dissolved because of elders in each of those congregations not nipping gossip in the bud and it ended up progressing to more serious problems where everybody was backbiting each other. You almost felt like, with friends like this, who needs enemies type thing going on! So glad I have dependable friends now. I'm more choosy now

Did You See Congregations Polarized by Gossip? How was it resolved?

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