What suicide bombers get in Paradise...

by TJ - iAmCleared2Land 7 Replies latest social humour

  • TJ - iAmCleared2Land
    TJ - iAmCleared2Land

    After dying a grisly death in an Afghan cave, Osama made his way to the pearly gates.

    There, he was greeted by George Washington.

    "How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yelled Washington, slapping Osama in the face.

    Patrick Henry came up from behind. "You wanted to end America's liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punched Osama in the nose.

    James Madison came next, and said, "This is why I allowed the government provide for the common defense!" He took a sledge hammer and whacked Osama's knees.

    Osama was subjected to similar beatings from John Randolph, James Monroe, and 65 other people who had the same love for liberty and America. As he writhed on the ground, Thomas Jefferson hurled him back toward the gate where he was to be judged.

    As Osama awaited his journey to his final very hot destination, he screamed, "This is not what I was promised!"

    An angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you. What did you think I said?"

  • nvrgnbk
  • horrible life
    horrible life

    That is one ugly woman! Is she still alive? If not, did they bury her in red?

  • barry
    barry

    You might upset Merry with that.

    I just wonderl what would Merry get at the pearly gates or any muslim women get? I beleive they are second class citizens even in the after life.

  • Merry Magdalene
    Merry Magdalene

    You might upset Merry with that.

    I just wonderl what would Merry get at the pearly gates or any muslim women get? I beleive they are second class citizens even in the after life.

    You rang?

    “But the believers who do good works, both men and women, shall enter Paradise. They shall not suffer the least injustice.” (Sura 4:124)


    “God has promised the men and women who believe in Him gardens watered by running streams, in which they shall abide for ever: goodly mansions in the gardens of Eden: and, what is more, they shall have grace in God’s sight. That is the supreme triumph.” (Sura 9:72)

    ~Merry

  • barry
    barry

    Merry do you get 72 virgin men or do you still have the same old bloke you are married to? While youre husband gets the virgins.

    I do recall Mohamad said that hell is full of women.

  • Merry Magdalene
    Merry Magdalene

    All I know for sure is: if I am granted Paradise I will "not suffer the least injustice" and that is good enough for me.

    Whatever anyone understands or misunderstands, believes or teaches in regards to 72 virgins is between them and God. It may be as one German scholar claims, and the proper translation is not maidens and youths but white raisins and chilled drinks or some such. I don't know. Allah know best. It's not a big issue for me. There are many things I find appealing in the descriptions of Paradise, but the chief one is closeness to God, and Islam teaches the best ways to be found pleasing to Him. Martyrdom, dying in service to Allah, is one, but I don't believe that includes self-martyrdom. Suicide bombing is something I find quite tragic...for all concerned.

    More women in hell than men? http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=7&ID=7547&CATE=3600

    Goodnight!

    Merry

  • TheNaturalStep
    TheNaturalStep

    Strange another female who r extremely dynamic in the interpretation of Islam, do all forums have one of them? Anyway i am kinda stupid i didn't understood the joke :cry: ...

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