hi. it's me again. WW. i haven't been on in some time- but i still check on you all once in a while to see what's new. i have been charging through life lately..trying to finish school and figure out what i really want to do when i grow up. my biggest accomplishment is: i have been a lot better with this whole jw ridiculousness and my family, thanks to you (and my partner). so in a nutshell life has been good. today i got a little reminder of the disgusting and completely destructive actions of jw families. my aunt is dying. i just found out. today. she only has a few days. i am saddened that she is suffering and that she faces death. but mostly my hurt comes from the fact that my family is too close-assed to let me know. the past few years i have done everyhting for my grandma and her, along with caring for my dying grandpa (ironically one of "the chosen few".)...all while being 'out'. i am the only grandchild/neice that has gived a rat's ass about them. my immediate jw family lives out of state while my panty waste jw cousins and uncle live only miles from them. still... i was there. this last year i backed up, stopped pushing my love and affection on them. it got to be too hard. i told myself that since they had this stupid rule, if they wanted me, they could come to me. fast forward to today. my non-existant mother and her husband i have never met are on their way here from out of state. my out of state jw sis was kind enough to let me know that i might want to stop by and see our aunt...everyone is acting like it's no big deal. "oh...you didn't hear??" how could i? you shun me. another aunt said it was nice that i was back in the loop...what??? are these people that nuts? they think i chose to be banished and alone. yeah...it's been great!
i know there are bigger and mightier problems out there. i know i am not the only one with a jw family that chomps them into little pieces and spits them out. i am not the only one that feels like an orphan. i am just so upset with this situation. i want them all to go away and leave me alone. if i'm not good enough for you on monday..but am 'ok' for you on tuesday...screw off.
i needed to vent. thanks for listening. i've missed you.