Nesters

by WTWizard 5 Replies latest jw experiences

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    How common it is to see this in the Witnesses. There are different definitions of nesters, but the one I am here using is children who are old enough where they should have left home, who are still permanently living with their parents. I am also discounting those who, for lack of opportunity or for timing reasons are living with parents until other arrangements kick in. A nester is someone who has completed high school and still permanently living with their parents, as opposed to waiting for college or a job to start or on campus recess. I am also not including those who are temporarily moved back in with their parents because of circumstances that came up (like job loss, natural disaster, etc.) or because parents need their help.

    What is left are those, usually 21 years old or higher, still living with their parents full time and not in college. How common is this in the Watchtower Society? I have seen quite a few of them, some well in their 30s, still living with parents! Note that the Bible does not condone this, but explicitly says that man should leave his mother and his father. What is going on here in an organization that claims to be following the Bible?

    The biggest reason for this is so that they can support each other, making room for more pioneer time. Having several children working part time allows them to support the whole household, which means less money is needed than if they were living away from their parents. Then, the extra time can be put in the misery. To me, that is a huge waste of independence. What usually happens is that the parents become too controling of grown children, choking off any possible marriage, and they put up with it for the Kingdumb. Of course, they pay the price with stagnation.

    Another huge reason I have seen is the ban on college. When you have an organization where 98% of the children do not go to college, very few are going to leave home at a decent age. Most worldly children leave home to go to college, and they do not go back once they are out. Since this does not happen in the Tower, quite few get this catalyst. In fact, college is a practice run where you are on your own, but not totally without guidance. The ones that take a job directly out of high school in the world often start saving up for an apartment soon after, and plan to move out within a reasonable time. In the Tower, the money is put toward supporting the family so the parents can slow down their work and do more service.

    Plus, who can afford to move out when they have such crappy jobs? Window washers and toilet scrubbers do not make enough money to sustain a reasonable standard of living. About all it does is allows three or four people to pool the money to live together and do more pioneering. This often prevents the Witlesses from moving out from their parents at a decent age. If someone tries to get a better job to move out, the others will invariably keep them from doing so on specious grounds, ensuring stagnation.

    I believe the Puketower Society encourages this to keep family members from fading. If one of them starts blowing off meetings or service, the others will hound them. And, if they leave the cult, the structure creates extra hardship. They have nowhere else to turn for employment or housing, since they have been explicitly banned from doing so (if not from the Society, from the family). And then they can boast about how families of 5 and 6 generations still have 100% of the members still serving that Almighty Tyrant. Even this doesn't always work, hence more hounding against college.

    I believe this is going to get even worse in the future. With the Kool-Aid rags coming out in 2008, they are going to come down even harder on any activities like college, filling out apartment or job applications, taking government assistance that is designed to lead to independence, and moving out at a decent age (that is, one where the children can start a decent career). I think it's only a matter of time before they decide that anyone with children in the Tower cannot let them go before they get married (in the Tower of course) or the parents die off. I think we are going to see more children living with parents in this organization, that are not handicapped or forced by circumstances beyond anyone's control, well into their 50s and maybe even 60s (if the parents live that long).

    Is there anyone here who knows of, or is, a child that still lives with their parents or has lived with parents past the age of about 30? Or, do you still have children that didn't move out on their own, not handicapped or forced by outside circumstances, before they reached 30? Notice that this is not normal: it is not normal for children to stay with their parents past about 20 (though this age can vary becasue of college or work)--nor is it scriptural. More evidence that the Puketower Society is not actually following the Bible like they claim to be.

  • pratt1
    pratt1

    I believe you have hit on a good point.

    There are probably more nesters (by your definition) still at home with parents than non dubs.

    Economics is a big factor. Low paying jobs, lack of education, therefore lack of real career opportunities.

    I believe that many of the parents are okay with ths arrangement, because they have crappy low paying jobs and they need their childrens income to help sustain their household.

    I also believe that many parents think that if their children still live in the household, they are protected from having sex. Of course this is false more times than true, but it does give the parents a huge level of control, well past whats normal or healthly for their children.

    But, what do you expect form a religion that controls every decision made by adults, in turn the adults tries to control every move of their children.

  • joannadandy
    joannadandy

    Do you have a source for the 98% don't go to college stat?

    I'd be interested in seeing that study to show some people.

  • daystar
    daystar
    Most worldly children leave home to go to college, and they do not go back once they are out.

    I don't believe this statement to be entirely true. I read an article not too long ago which suggested that the number of college student who return back to the nest after graduation to be at an all-time high.

    I suspect this to be a movement in our society as a whole rather than just the JWs. Although, the situation is certainly exacerbated by JW lack of secondary education.

    I am trying to find the exact article I read. But in the meantime...:

    http://www.essortment.com/family/boomerangerscol_sarc.htm

    http://www.azcentral.com/families/articles/0615fam_boomerang.html

    http://www.boston.com/jobs/globe/climb/archives/051505.shtml

  • Paralipomenon
    Paralipomenon

    whether typical of JW's or not, I did notice many staying at home with their parents, only moving out when they got married. I can't imagine the stresses that put on the initial state of a JW marriage.

  • changeling
    changeling

    I can't quote stats, but I have seen an awful lot of witness nesters.

    changeling

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