Here is my problem with the ten commandments- why exactly are there 10?
You simply do not need ten. The list of ten commandments was artificially and deliberately inflated to get it up to ten. Here's what happened:
About 5,000 years ago a bunch of religious and political hustlers got together to try to figure out how to control people and keep them in line. They knew people were basically stupid and would believe anything they were told, so they announced that God had given them some commandments, up on a mountain, when no one was around.
Well let me ask you this- when they were making this sh#t up, why did they pick 10? Why not 9 or 11? I'll tell you why- because 10 sound official. Ten sounds important! Ten is the basis for the decimal system, it's a decade, it's a psychologically satisfying number (the top ten, the ten most wanted, the ten best dressed). So having ten commandments was really a marketing decision! It is clearly a bullsh*t list. It's a political document artificially inflated to sell better. I will now show you how you can reduce the number of commandments and come up with a list that's a little more workable and logical. I am going to use the Roman Catholic version because those were the ones I was taught as a little boy.
Let's start with the first three:
I AM THE LORD THY GOD THOU SHALT NOT HAVE STRANGE GODS BEFORE ME
THOU SHALT NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD THY GOD IN VAIN
THOU SHALT KEEP HOLY THE SABBATH
Right off the bat the first three are pure bullsh*t. Sabbath day? Lord's name? strange gods? Spooky language! Designed to scare and control primitive people. In no way does superstitious nonsense like this apply to the lives of intelligent civilized humans in the 21st century. So now we're down to 7. Next:
HONOR THY FATHER AND MOTHER
Obedience, respect for authority. Just another name for controlling people. The truth is that obedience and respect shouldn't be automatic. They should be earned and based on the parent's performance. Some parents deserve respect, but most of them don't, period. You're down to six.
Now in the interest of logic, something religion is very uncomfortable with, we're going to jump around the list a little bit.
THOU SHALT NOT STEAL
THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS
Stealing and lying. Well actually, these two both prohibit the same kind of behavior- dishonesty. So you don't really need two you combine them and call the commandment "thou shalt not be dishonest". And suddenly you're down to 5.
And as long as we're combining I have two others that belong together:
THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTRY
THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE
Once again, these two prohibit the same type of behavior. In this case it is marital infidelity. The difference is- coveting takes place in the mind. But I don't think you should outlaw fantasizing about someone else's wife because what is a guy gonna think about when he's waxing his carrot? But, marital infidelity is a good idea so we're gonna keep this one and call it "thou shalt not be unfaithful". And suddenly we're down to four.
But when you think about it, honesty and infidelity are really part of the same overall value so, in truth, you could combine the two honesty commandments with the two fidelity commandments and give them simpler language, positive language instead of negative language and call the whole thing "thou shalt always be honest and faithful" and we're down to 3.
THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR"S GOODS
This one is just plain fu**n' stupid. Coveting your neighbor's goods is what keeps the economy going! Your neighbor gets a vibrator that plays "o come o ye faithful", and you want one too! Coveting creates jobs, so leave it alone. You throw out coveting and you're down to 2 now- the big honesty and fidelity commandment and the one we haven't talked about yet:
THOU SHALT NOT KILL
Murder. But when you think about it, religion has never really had a big problem with murder. More people have been killed in the name of god than for any other reason. All you have to do is look at Northern Ireland, Cashmire, the Inquisition, the Crusades, and the World Trade Center to see how seriously the religious folks take thou shalt not kill. The more devout they are, the more they see murder as being negotiable. It depends on who's doin the killin' and who's gettin' killed. So, with all of this in mind, I give you my revised list of the two commandments:
Thou shalt always be honest and faithful to the provider of thy nookie.
&
Thou shalt try real hard not to kill anyone, unless of course they pray to a different invisible man than you.
Two is all you need; Moses could have carried them down the hill in his fu*Kn' pocket. I wouldn't mind those folks in Alabama posting them on the courthouse wall, as long as they provided one additional commandment:
Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.
BROTHERS AND SISTERS WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEND OUR WARM LOVE BACK WITH BROTHER CARLIN TO HIS CONGREGATION?
Our talk today is entitled THE 10 COMANDMENTS George Carlin please.....
by fedorE 6 Replies latest jw friends
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fedorE
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WTWizard
Here's a good idea to get the Ten Commandments down to the irreducible level. I challenge anyone to come up with anything better, that would actually work if implemented in society and if everyone followed it.
(1) Thou shalt not initiate the use of force, threat of force, or fraud against thy neighbor or his property.
(2) Force shalt be properly used only in defense against those who violate Article 1.
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gymbob
here's just one for you....
1) Treat people like you would like to be treated.
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Mum
There are more than 600 commandments, or so I learned in some religion and philosophy class I took. My professors and Jewish classmates pointed this out. There are dietary laws, laws to protect income, laws to see that children are cared for, etc.
I didn't read your entire post, but just thought I'd clarify this one point.
Regards,
SandraC
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SnakesInTheTower
Jesus boiled it down to 2 commandments: "Honor God" and "honor your neighbor"
Think about it, the first 5 of the big 10 relate to god, and the last 5 relate to the neighbors.
If you are honoring god, you will not "have other gods before {him}", you would not "make graven images", you would not "bow down before them", you would "keep his commandments" and you would not "take god's name in vain"
If you are honoring your neighbor, you will honor your "parents" (your closest neighbor) , you would not kill your neigbor, you would not commit adultery with your neighbor (thus dishonoring your neighbor's spouse), you would not steal from your neighbor (which includes your neighbors spouse) and you would not lie about your neighbor and you would not covet the neighbors new truck sitting in their driveway.
I think Jesus summed it up pretty nicely, and the other 600 laws pretty well fall in line with those 2.
of course, good rules to live by, religious or not.
now, let me get back to banging the hell out of my friend's gorgeous wife in the back of his new truck and pray he doesnt kill us.
SnakesInTheTower (of the "not really banging the friend's wife, but coveting her anyway" Sheep Class)
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fedorE
Hey WT Wizard and gymbob...nice observations... what do ya think of this tho..when Jesus was using the example of the Good samaritan stopping to help the poor guy on the road........what if someone had asked Jesus what should the GSamaritan do if he found the same guy getting the crap kicked out of him?
Do unto others as u would have done unto u? Correct OR what do u think of that situation.
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journey-on
fedorE
I love George Carlin. I'm not an atheist, but I get a kick out of his piece on religion. I AM open minded and love to laugh. Check him out on YouTube. Thanks.