I have eight siblings - three hang on to being jw but live their life, one is in the circuit work, one is unbaptised, and mentally challenged, two of us are faded for at at least 18 years and one - the youngest has been dfed twice.
He is 25 now, was dfed as a young teenager originally and went back only to get the boot again. There was a very definite KM a couple of years ago - he had been dfed for a couple of years by that point - and he was kicked out after my parents came home from that meeting. The funny this is, they had been separated for a few years and had recently reconciled. He and one other brother(still jw) lived with mom- then Bruce was kicked out and Warren allowed to stay with the parents. Warren lived with them for several more years, is now married, expecting a baby, gainfully emplyed - blue collar but loves it - generally speaking a very balanced guy for a jw.
Bruce left, didn;t go to school of course - he had no $$$$$, got a great job making great money - smokes, drinks, takes many girls on many dates, gets solidly into the drug scene, major debt, huge emotional issues esp since we are faded and still have some contact with the entire family.
He has two more months to go to finish a 10 month course but he is self destructing big time - missing classes, getting fired from his part time jobs, feeling sorry for himself, room mates kicking him out and, worse thing for me - can't seem to find friends that don;t do drugs.
this week was so sad- i went to find him at his apartment (nice/clean due to his room mate) and he was two days past a cocaine binge. i am stupid about these things but starting to get it. He feels like a faliure, he can't seem to get it together and I told him that my fear is one day finding him in a puddle. He can't get beyound the unfairness of how our parents have treated him, he so totally hates the jws but his hate is not focussed.
I have tried to show him that the greatest revenge is to live well - but he can't pull it off. My sister and I have stopped lending him even a buck although we have told him there is always a sandwich at our house. We arranged for couselling for him - which he refused - and then on his own went to. But he totally snowed the psychiatrist.
I am just at my wits end? Do we commit him to rehab? How low can he sink?
I guess I am hoping someone can give me some comment that might shake him back into the real world. I have told him that people smoke and drink- even do reefer without it taking over their life.
I am almost 20 years older too - it is a hinderance to him beleiving I can understand (i was dfed and went back to fade) I have sent him liks to this site thinking he might connect to the stories but he is all about him. and he is the example the local jws use to show what happens when you leave - they totally ignore those of us that just lead real lives
thanks for listening - i just wish i could help him, kill our parents who are so blinded, and be an only child