How did you treat disfellowshipped ones in the hall?

by Snoozy 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • Snoozy
    Snoozy

    I read another post and thought of this subject..why?

    Because I remember someone telling me I couldn't talk to this one lady in the back of the hall because she was disfellowshipped..I was shocked!

    Never in my wildest dreams did I believe that was right. So instead I turned around and gave her a big smile..and she smiled back!

    Since I was had been going for quite a while I was shocked..I had even intertained the thought of going back and saying Hi when the meeting was over..I didn't care. But she was gone..She would come after the meeting started and leave before it was over..her sin I found out later was smoking!

    Heck..if I had known that I would have went out and had one with her..I was still smoking at that time. Quiting was to come later...

    She was reinstated almost immediately after that..so I went and gave her a big hug...she had tears in her eyes. Everyone clapped...

    The sisters had warned me before that not to talk to her or SHE would get in trouble...Why didn't I see that as a warning sigh of things to come?

    So how did you treat them?

    Snoozy..

  • R.F.
    R.F.

    I gave them a nice smile when I could. I opened doors for them, said "thank you" to them....I did all I could to show them that I still considered them a human being while at the same time not holding a conversation with them.

  • eclipse
    eclipse

    Same here R.F.

    I could not stand the look-down-her-nose-at-you bitches sisters in the hall.

    Or the tsk-tsk-tsker's that loved to wag their finger at anyone they thought was being naughty.

    I just wanted to punch them in their smug, self-righteous faces!

    So I was always nice to the DF'd ones. Smiled sincerely and said hello.

    It was my quiet ''EFFU'' to the society.

  • sass_my_frass
    sass_my_frass

    My memory is that dfd ones would want to be invisible. I always thought it would be hell to be treated that way, but I could never get any old friends to make eye contact, I guess it was too emotional for them. When it happened to me I started attending meetings at a new hall where I knew nobody. I managed to time it so that I'd walk in as the song started and walk out when the song finished, but if I had to wait at the door for the song to start another stranger would try to introduce themselves. I'd tell them 'I'm disfellowshipped' as soon as I got a chance, and they'd usually feel very embarassed, not know what to do, and walk away. One lady always tried to get my attention and smile but I couldn't bear it.

    Every few weeks I had to hang around after the meeting for the magazine guy to bring mine to me (I wasn't allowed to go to the counter for them. They should print a little brochure on the little rules that you unknowingly break for the first few months. I never knew what the book study was up to because I wasn't allowed to get a KM...) So I'd try to find an empty spot in the chairs and sit quietly and wait. It was very stupid, me sitting there ignoring people, everybody else pretending I'm not there. I took to playing games on my mobile. As soon as the magazine guy brought me my propaganda I'd bolt. I remember my sister joking about it in the week between my JC and the announcement that I was dfd when I'd told everybody, as if it was funny; "why do they always hang around after the meeting, it's not like somebody is going to talk to them". Oh yeah sister, that's my favourite place, right there in the chair of humiliation and torture.

    I so much prefer to look forward these days. Looking back makes me very sad.

  • Stealth453
    Stealth453

    The sisters had warned me before that not to talk to her or SHE would get in trouble

    Now THAT pisses me off.

  • prophecor
  • erandir
    erandir

    Smile and say hi. Recently I even shook hands and asked how he was...right in front of other witnesses. There is no good reason not to treat a df'd person like a normal human. It is not loving to shun.

  • fleaman uk
    fleaman uk

    Badly

    Ive had a lot of apologising to do,though most dont want to know because they believe its the truth and i would hinder their come back.

  • DiscoSandy
    DiscoSandy

    There was an elderly lady who had been disfellowshipped - she probably had dementia and said odd things. We were all warned to stay away from her and pretend she wasn't there. I smiled at her and said hi after the meeting one Sunday, when we were both outside. It was a natural reaction to greet her. Immediately after I said hi, I realized I had done the unthinkable - I had spoken to a disfellowshipped person! I literally had visions of falling through the cracks of the earth at Armaggedon. I was probably 5 or 6 years old at the time. I carried a tremendous amount of guilt around for a long time. I wondered if I should confess to my parents of this great sin. Makes me sick now when I think about it!

  • Snoozy
    Snoozy

    What surprises me is that they don't make disfellowshipped ones wear a big scarlet D on their clothes...

    How can someone actually think that shunning is a good thing? Sickos...

    The sad part is so many are taking in to their sicko ways...

    Snoozy..so glad to be out!

    ps..reading your experiences just makes me mad at them all over again!

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit