After leaving, have any of you former Elders bumped into anyone you've DF'd in the past?
How'd that work out for you?
Any Elders here...
by FlipThis 5 Replies latest jw experiences
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unique1
Wow, guess not.
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Tyrone van leyen
Well there's always me. I ran into the elder that spearheaded the merciless campaign to bring me to my knees. I was at the hall for some stupid reason. Hadn't been there in 15 years. He came over to shake my hand and I coldly stared him in the eye and said." I will not shake the hand of a man that would not alllow me to attend my brothers weddings, or my own graduation." He was trying to get my approval in front of everyone. I don't play that ballgame anymore.
Embarasssed, he then reached for my brotheres hand for approval, who was more than happy to oblige. Its that kind of family support that kept me strong for so many years. I think also he was scared that I might erupt, and tried to defuse it before it could happen. The other elders tried the same with me.
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VanillaMocha73
Well, the other way round... Went back to the KH to hear my little son give his Reading talk - looked straight in the eyes of the elders who DF'd me and gave them a HUGE GRIN. One just about fell over in his haste to run. Then, during one of their SM talks, I just kept smiling and looking directly at the brother on stage. I think he forgot what he was saying about 10 times.
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Open mind
Just a couple. Both were seeking reinstatement so the interaction was pretty boring and predictable.
The rest have moved away as far as I know.
I didn't respond yesterday because my experience is so non-eventful. But I figured I'd toss it in now given the lack of replies.
I'm so sorry I was ever a part of this cruel process. Glad I'll never be sitting on any JC's in the future. (Unless I'm the Guest of Honor that is.)
Open Mind
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SnakesInTheTower
FlipThis:
After leaving, have any of you former Elders bumped into anyone you've DF'd in the past?
How'd that work out for you?
One.
The person needed help not judgment. Unfortunately addictions she needed help with led to other wrongdoing on her part. Under Borg rules, we could not ignore either the addiction or the wrongdoing. And it was not the first time she had been D/F. And she had been reproved just months earlier for the same issues. Borg rules tied our hands to further "kindness" of turning a blind eye and just reproving her. Sadly, the other person involved in her wrongdoing did not even get a slap on the wrist.
Before you think I am justifying D/Fing her I am not. We, as a JC, promised to help her through the addiction problems so she could "demonstrate repentance." Yet, I was the only elder of the 3 that would take her calls at any time...esp those at 3 am.. After I was deleted as an elder and left the congo, she continued to call me when she was having problems..the other 2 refused to take her calls. I continued to take her calls and listen to whatever she needed help with. I was a shoulder to cry on....by phone..... After she was reinstated I did meet her in person once...but that nearly led to problems for myself...we are both single....her addiction issues and my loneliness could have become explosive....if I had not said no. It would have been easy to feed each others needs. She later called and apologized for putting me in that position. She still gets no help from the congo...her young pre-teen kids are getting disillusioned about the Borg and the elders. (something good is coming of this!)
I took her calls because the other so-called "Brothers" did not try to help her, even though as "shepherds" they were the only ones officially sanctioned by the Borg to talk to her to help her. She was suicidal. If I had not taken her calls she would have killed herself. I could not have lived with myself if that happened.
So, good question FT...that's how it worked out for me. I feel OK about how I handled it after the official action was taken...not the action itself.
SnakesInTheTower (of the "never will serve on a JC again" Sheep Class)