You can't handle the truth

by teejay 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • teejay
    teejay

    My kid sister (42 years-old) is still in good standing (I guess) but is very inactive -- hasn't been to a meeting in years. However, she's very supportive of the organization and dislikes any negative information I pass along to her about the society, so I don't.

    Recently, an email dialog we've had on a topic not related to the Society has led her to the slightly unnerving realization that jusssst maybe she hasn't been told the whole truth about 'the truth.' Since years ago I gave her my personal copy of Crisis of Conscience with zero positive affect (not only did she not read a single page but destroyed it), I am still reluctant to help her out of the current mists of her confusion and ignorance. She has shown a general disregard for my efforts in the past, anyway.

    All of this has led me to the thought that despite their supposed love of "truth," the average JW doesn't want to be confused with the whole story. They want to believe only what comes from a certain source and makes (keeps) them mentally comfortable. Anything that upsets that personal comfort level -- even if it's absolutely true -- is likely to be rejected and the one bringing it demonized.

    Imo, the average JW doesn't really love the truth at all.

  • SixofNine
    SixofNine
    Imo, the average JW doesn't really love the truth at all.

    Generally speaking, I couldn't agree more. Especially in practical terms. However, thinking back on my own experience, not all that long ago, I was a witness who really loved truth, I believe. I had been brainwashed from birth, literally, into believing that "truth" was first and foremost defined by the WTBTS. As life experience began showing me conflicting "truths" (and I'm rather ashamed at how long it took for me to start noticing), the cognative dissonance was just about killing me with depression.

  • bigboi
    bigboi

    What is the truth that they really don't want to deal with?

    Well, take for instance cutting yourself off from family and longtime friends. Cutting yourself off from educational opportunities and career advancement. Yes, all the personal sacrifices involved in submitting yourself to the WTS and their teachings. To even entertain the notion that all these sacrifices may have been for naught is enough to make anybody recoil in absolute terror.

    ONE...

    bigboi

  • Rex B13
    Rex B13

    Hi TJ,
    My JW sis was just about out. She'd seen a very good amount of my apostate stuff. Then she decided to study with a Borg sister again despite my counsel. She did this even having a non-jw husband and she now behaves as stupidly as ever. She now spouts the same slogans as all the other 'dubs, She's been df once and has had three husbands and four kids, obeys the rules she likes (she don't like the 'head of the house', 'no internet', and 'shunning' (for now)).
    I am just waitng for her husband to turn from 'nice guy' to JW drone.
    She says, "You should just DA yourself".
    "NO, I don't think so, Sis. They have no power over me or my family".
    I have a younger brother who is an almost elder with a "super jw wife" who is seriously mentally ill, she has two kids from a previous and two with him. We have not seen our youngest niece and she is two, they live not 2 miles from us in the same town.
    I have another younger brother who married a Catholic and quietly converted to Catholic. He won't discuss things with me! Go figure, as you say the weakest are the worst to deal with.
    Rex
    We're not even df/da yet, even though the whole family knows of our very visible church activities.

  • somebody
    somebody

    teejay,

    They want to believe only what comes from a certain source and makes (keeps) them mentally comfortable. Anything that upsets that personal comfort level -- even if it's absolutely true -- is likely to be rejected and the one bringing it demonized.

    You thought right. I found the same with 97% of the JWs I've talked to online in the past 3 years.

    They want to believe only what comes from a certain source...

    It doesn't help when the wbts print articles that begin with the words,"A View From a Higher Source". JW's believe that the "society" is the "higher source" and that the society is equal to Jehovah God himself. At the same time, they say that they don't idol worship in any form.

    peace,
    somebody

  • ashitaka
    ashitaka

    The only truth they are concerned with is the fuzzy, cuddley new world they look forward to. Everything else to them is inspired of Satan and such....what tripe.

  • Pathofthorns
    Pathofthorns

    Nice post Teejay. I couldn't agree more. Same with SixofNine, I know what you mean.

    There is little substance to "the truth". It is all about emotion and having that imaginary safety net throughout one's life. They have great confidence and peace of mind just knowing they have "the truth". Why should they want to lose that illusion?

    Path

  • Cygnus
    Cygnus

    JWism is not about truth. It is about community.

    I run across many JW apologists on the Net. Most of them engage me in dialogue, even though they know they're not supposed to. Obviously, since I am a proud, haughty apostate hater of Jehovah and his organization, they do not necessarily befriend me, but they will discuss issues.

    Unfortunately, they just get so silly sometimes. Take for example the UN issue. Now, I couldn't care less if the Watchtower was an NGO or any other registered member of the UN. Makes no difference to me and my life. Heck, I think that any organization should be try and do whatever it can to make progress, grow, and take people's money. But when I raised the issue in certain arenas, the JW apologists say, "You have no proof. All you have is some website listing the WTS on it. There's no proof there, just insinuation and supposition." Then when I email a JW apologist a scanned copy of the UN letter, he says, "It's an obvious cut-and-paste job, even my 10 year old son can see where whole sentences don't fit. And anyone can forge a UN letterhead."

    When I started examining the JWs, I decided that I would check up on criticisms, and take everyone's evidence with the same level of validity. I found that very often some "apostates and opposers" offer garbage arguments, and sensationalise the rather trivial. But I also found that the WTS just couldn't be completely trusted either. That's why today I trust nobody but Satan, because he's never lied to me.

  • Eyebrow
    Eyebrow

    Big,

    excellent point! No one likes to realize that what they have believed to be true for some many years is not so...whether it be a religion or anything else. I liken it to finding out that your mate has been cheating on you. You may see the signs, but you don't want to believe it because, hey, this is your mate...someone you trust!

    Or, the analogy that a parent is not perfect.

  • teejay
    teejay

    As life experience began showing me conflicting "truths", the cognative dissonance was just about killing me with depression.

    Same here, Six. I went through a range of emotions, including anger and rage, over the dupe I was and the huge number of opportunities that had been denied me. It's the reason why I have no problem accepting JWs who remain in the org... it's waaay easier to stay the course rather than change horses in mid-stream. I just had to accept the whole truth, not just the version I had learned growing up. Everybody's not like me.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Bigboi,

    To even entertain the notion that all these sacrifices may have been for naught is enough to make anybody recoil in absolute terror.

    Like I mentioned to Six, it was a bitter pill I had to swallow -- coming to accept that I had been a dummy for far too long (until my mid-thirties) and that it was too late to take advantage of many of the opportunities for a full and meaningful life, and almost too late for many others.

    It would be easier to stay with the way I was raised and HOPE that there would be a pay-off in the end. I just didn't (and don't) see one. That's why I understand my sister, I guess... not wanting to upset her comfort zone. She tends to be rather close-minded anyway, so if she wants to continue to believe in a santa clause, "more power to her," I say.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Sorry to read about your family relationships, Rex. Your story can be repeated thousands of times over. To be truthful, in the past I have thought: "What would be the harm in me going back to the kingdom hall, if only to maintain old family and friend relationships?" I know some do and I understand completely.

    Since my wife is a (non-thinking) dub just like my sister and since she takes my daughter to the meetings, I have already announced that I will be returning to the meetings one day. My wife was gleefully relieved, until I told her that my only purpose would be to hear the lies, deceptions, and half-truths that my daughter was hearing so that I could help HER (my daughter) cut through all the bullshit.

    She's only two, so thankfully that time is a ways away. Even when it comes, I've decided that she will not be a regular attendee since Sunday mornings are a special time for me, what with ESPN's The Sports Reporters and CBS's Sunday Morning program (imo, the best 90 minutes on all of television). Two Sundays out of the month, Baby Girl will be sitting here with me, learning about her world. Wife will have to adjust. Sorry, wife.
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    Somebody,

    It doesn't help when the wbts print articles that begin with the words,"A View From a Higher Source".

    You're right, of course. But my sister, while believing in god, has seen enough to make her at least question what she reads and hears respective of the organization, which she still ludicrously believes is 'being used by god.' I have a hard time coming to grips with her pathetic ignorance. I keep thinking, "she should know better."

    Maybe one day...
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Path,

    It is all about ... having that imaginary safety net throughout one's life.

    And can you blame them? I mean, really??? I can't.

    Shucks, especially lately as everyone's future has become a bit murkier, I've yearned for those days of blissful ignorance when I believed in my heart that a Higher Power was not only watching but was in full control, only waiting to step in one day and correct all of my and humanity's problems. It was a VERY comforting place. Just not real.

    As it was with Dorothy, it's hard having to face the painful reality that there really is no Wizard.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Good thoughts, Cygnus.

    Like I said, JWs believe only one source of 'truth.' Even if the gb, in the pages of a Wt magazine, had the balls to openly admit their UN shenanigans to the rank and file, the average JW would totally swallow as "truth" the spin the article put on it, rather than see the evil double standard.

    Like my sister... almost a year ago when Bill's story hit, I didn't tell her all that I was learning. I merely hinted to her the possibility of a heinous Watchtower policy that jussssss maaaaaybe irreparably damaged hundreds (thousands?) of innocent children. You know... sorta like the one the Catholic Church as in place? ... that the gb has vilified so much? Her response? "Why are you always so hard, so negative, about the society?"

    I couldn't believe it!! I had to throw up my hands, even though I wanted to thump her on the head, just like Mama used to do to me in the meetings when I wasn't paying attention. Well, millions of folks just like my sister aren't paying attention. They need a good thumping.

    Later, y'all,
    tj
    .......................
    "You can't wake up someone pretending to be asleep." -- Linda Bankoski

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