The Noah's Ark Conspiracy

by AlmostAtheist 7 Replies latest jw friends

  • AlmostAtheist
    AlmostAtheist

    We all know the official story: Noah was contacted by God and warned that a flood would engulf the earth, killing everything. Noah was given the command to build an ark to preserve his family and mating pairs of animals in order to repopulate the earth. The ark was built, the flood came, the waters receded, and Noah's family stepped out onto a cleansed earth. There was even a rainbow.

    That's the official story. And one the Judeo-Christian-controlled media would like you to believe.

    But does the story "hold water"? If God really wanted to kill everyone, was a flood the best way for him to do it? He's killed thousands of people in a matter of hours. He built the universe! Would he really need to use RAIN to fix his problems?

    There is another explanation: Noah himself knew the flood was coming, and used it to rid himself of the Nephilim!

    Noah stepped off the ark and planted a vineyard. Are we to believe he miraculously discovered how to do this upon exiting the ark? Unlikely. Surely he was an accomplished horticulturist prior to the flood. And in his efforts, he certainly would've developed a sense of weather. Specifically, he would have recognized when the earth was DUE for a big rain!

    Then there was the matter of Noah's neighbors; the Nephilim. The Bible describes them as "fellers of men", but were they? We can't really know, since the only record of them comes from.... you guessed it -- Noah! It was Noah that preserved the writings of his ancestors and his contemporaries, that later became scripture. Did he truly preserve them? Or were they doctored, to support his homicidal plan?

    How though could he construct a massive ark without being noticed? By claiming God spoke to him! By vehemently declaring to his neighbors that "God says rain's a comin'", he managed to convince them that he was nuts. Had he remained silent, they would've been curious about his giant waterproof box. By "warning" them in this way, he put them off the scent, allowing him to hide in plain sight.

    And isn't it convenient that ONLY Noah's family was deemed "righteous"? Not his daughters-in-law's family? Not his brothers-in-law? Pointedly, not his mother-in-law. Only people immediately close to Noah were found to be worthy to live. By God's choice? Or by Noah's?

    When he got a chance, Noah got stone-cold drunk! Are these the actions of a prophet of God? And why drink this celebratory toast alone? Why not drink with his family? BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T HAVE THE TRUTH! He alone knew that his plan had succeeded.

    Perhaps we could check the writings of his sons? His wife? Conveniently, so such records exist. Were they ordered into silence by the earth's new patriarch? Their silence announces the answer.

    I call for an official inquiry! The records must be opened! The truth must be known!

    Dave

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  • IP_SEC
    IP_SEC

    You ok Dave? alt

    J/K

    I agree!!!

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  • jaguarbass
    jaguarbass

    Hello Dave. There are a lot of different spins on this story. My favorite at the moment is that the Gods are spacemen, drivers of ufo's. They planted us humans here and are cultivating us. There is a planet that is hidden to men it comes around every 6 to 10 thousand years. It is on a very large orbit. When the planet comes around the gravitational pull causes a pole shift and the earth starts spinning the opposite direction and this wreaks havoc on the earth. At least this is what happened 6-10 thousand years ago. Thats what happened in Noahs day or the last ice age I suspect they were one in the same. The Gods, our cultivators are on this planet. When the planet starts getting close they warn men, Noah to prepare. Today the US has cities and tunnels underneath Washington D.C. And New York and various sites thru the US. Could be a modern Noahs Ark. The Mayan calander runs out in 2012. 5 years from now. Scientist can not accurately determine the age of the earth they are way off, blowing smoke up peoples buts. They used their way back technologie to date items that were covered by the fall out from Mt. St. Helens and found them to be millions of years old, when they were no older than 1980. So they have been proven to be unreliable. I'm not saying the bible is reliable, I'm saying truth is where you find it. That's my 2 cents.
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  • AlmostAtheist
    AlmostAtheist

    So no biters on this one, eh?

    I almost posted it in Humor, but there was the distinct possibility that no one would think it was funny! :frowning: (I, though, love the idea!)

    Dave

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  • Shawn10538
    Shawn10538

    Of course, I'm sure this post is assuming the existence of Noah for the saake of argument right/ I mean, y'all don't actually believe there was such a thing as Noah do you? He , as a myth, most certainly did not pass on writings that would become scripture. We know where all those writings came from... From Levitical priests some time before 1 AD, no one knows exactly when, but it definitely was not as old as the Bible claims. Read "Who wrote the Bible?" by Friedman. Also, check out, "Myths of the Bible and their parallels in other religions" by Doane. Flood myths extend farther back than the Semite people do. The name Noah is a Summerian name altered to sound Jewish. There was also a great program on PBS that documented what we know and don't know about the flood. Most importantly, geologists agree that there has never been a global flood in all the existence of homo sapiens sapiens. If there was, one could read it in the layers of earth as geologists are trained to do. But no evidence of a flood of global proportions has ever been read in the laters of earth.

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  • Leolaia
    Leolaia

    Well, Noah's great-grandfather Enoch has a similar but different account...he claims the parents of the Nephilim formed a cabal that conspired to interfere with events on earth, and they gave secret technology to the daughters of men in order to accomplish their goals. The violence (e.g. false-flag terror) that served as the excuse for bringing on the Flood was of course engineered by this cabal who taught them how to make these weapons. Now, allegedly, the archangels went after this cabal and stopped them by imprisoning them in Tartarus, but the REAL STORY is that they were paid off by the archangels and that Michael the archangel was really behind this operation. Naturally, the war in heaven was a wag-the-dog sort of event and the Flood was not a real solution because the Nephilim only went underground and still terrorize mankind today as evil spirits. Supposedly there is a war on Satan and his minions but they tacitly continue their activity unhindered, and I am certain they are paid by the archangel ring. Noah is disinfo.

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  • hibiscusfire
    hibiscusfire
    Dave: And isn't it convenient that ONLY Noah's family was deemed "righteous"? Not his daughters-in-law's family? Not his brothers-in-law? Pointedly, not his mother-in-law. Only people immediately close to Noah were found to be worthy to live. By God's choice? Or by Noah's?

    Hey Dave you don't know what really happened in Noah's time did you? First of all, Noah's family wasn't deemed righteous. Everyone was invited to the ark. No one believed what Noah said. They didn't believe in God. No they laughed and laughed. They made a real mockery. It wasn't Noah's fault or God's fault. IT WASN'T GOD'S CHOICE or NOAH'S CHOICE BUT THE PEOPLE'S CHOICE. Don't get tied up.

    If you have to keep braying like a jackass to people to listen to you to do what is asked of them from God what do you expect to happen when it is too late?

    There is a time and place for everything. If you have to travel somewhere don't you have to reach a certain time? If you reach too late wouldn't the plane leave without you? Or are they going to call the plane back for you when it is in mid air?

    hibiscusfire

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  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk

    When they find medical syringes on the beach, does that mean there are hospitals under the sea?

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