I did not share this experience from several years back, partly because I was unsure about whether my identity--and my friend's--would be discovered somehow through it. I don't think this is likely for me anymore, and as I just recalled it today I thought I'd share it.
A long while back my JW friend "K" got stopped for a driving without a license compounded by a traffic infraction--and was then put in jail because of a silly mistake which was grossly misunderstood as her trying to elude the police! She was in trauma in jail after being there 2 nights by the time we got her message. We had been out of town, but ended up bailing her out because no one in her congregation would accept her collect call from prison. Her estranged husband had accepted a call only to mock her (even though he was the one who insisted she bring him something by car without having a license). We bailed her out not with a bond (which would cost her money she did not have), but with cash because we knew her character well enough to realize she would never leave us hanging. I got her car out of the towing yard as fast as I could to keep her costs down. She cried and told me that she felt convinced we were the only true friends she had.
A month later while I was bringing her home from somewhere, she told me that she felt she would have to drive again without a license because her work schedule made it so hard not to, and she hated to keep asking me. (BTW, I had also been teaching her how to drive so that she could be independent; she was almost ready to pass the test.) She was becoming bitter and a bit defiant about her whole situation--the disgrace, the bills, her disappointment in her friends. I told her please to remember all the troubles that that one wrong choice had made--and if she did this again, it could be worse. She replied wryly, "So are you afraid of bailing me out of jail again?"
I said "No. You really know that driving without a license is the wrong thing to do. [K has a very tender conscience, you see.] You would deliberately be doing something you know is wrong, and when you do that you will be putting up a wall between yourself and God. And you might be thinking now that you'll just make up for it by doing a lot of religious work and imagining it is all okay, but that wall will still be there. It will only come down by admitting it was a wrong thing to do. So don't create the wall. Your religious works will be all hollow, all shams with any wall right there, and I am sure you know that."
She stared at me like I had struck her on the head. Then without warning she leaned across her seat and kissed me on the cheek. I gave her a big hug. (And we still always hug whenever we visit.)
Not much has happened between us for dialogues since, partly because her life has had so many rough turns that I felt she would imagine I was going to take advantage of her weak state of mind. I wonder sometimes if I lost a golden opportunity during that year of trouble, but I recall that kiss and I think as long as she could understand what I was saying, there is always hope for her to get free. She's in a place where I think we could restart our conversations, but she seems unwilling to do that (she says how nice it is that we can have a friendship and respect our differences).
Maybe someday...
bebu