Now, that got your attention didn't it! This if for Max to raise a chuckle I hope.
Apostate Tricksters,
I was simmering in my Jacuzzi recently, shading my kindly eyes with a copy of the ‘Isaiah’s Prophecy’ book, which incidentally is steam-proof , when Don Adams slid under my door and stood up with a lightening-like motion that startled me verily. I sprang to my feet like a Ted-In-The-Box let loose.
‘Adams, for Gods sake, I am a ‘Son Of The Kingdom’ get the hell out of my bathroom', I screamed. He peered down with a puzzled look at the blue serge trousers that I always wear while bathing and smugly, though very kindly, handed me a file containing copies of some of the posts that have been made about me on this Board.
You all hide like cowards behind your anonymity while I come to you heroically unhidden. You lie publicly, while I am gracious enough to do this in private. Enough is enough friends. I have been slandered, digitally spat upon, called monstrous names, some even suggesting that my parents were not married and one poster, let us call him Max shall we, even described me as a ‘beast’. Beast am I Maxie boy, well who gets his shoes cleaned these days boyo, you or me?
You, poisoned, fetid, frustrated little gnashers of teeth, outside with you! Who do you think you are?. The GB agreed to send my prophet You Know to you to proclaim the wisdom of the ages and what reception does he get? You pillory his truths, abuse his commission and refer to him as ‘Cuddles’. Shocking, disgusting behavior truly implicating the ‘Sons of the System’ in some very nasty business indeed.
I put you all on notice, desist from this behavior immediately. You are worse in behavior than even the Godless wordlings who spawned you. My friends, I implore you, there is still time left for repentance, come back to the Truth, seek out loving shepherds in your neighborhood, convince them that you feel hurt at heart for your dastardly and not very nice lives. My heart is heavy and tears stream from my eyes as I write this note, my tender love spews forth in an avalanche of passion. Last nights Mexican restaurant haunts me with vigorous shakings.
The GB truly love you, you prodigal barbarians, even as you are; full of education, and humor and other loathsome traits. Fred Hall, who cleans my shoes with his tie most days said to me recently ‘Boss, do you want that I kicks their butts?’. I replied in a very gentle tone, 'get behind me Tabby for I will not succumb to this facile temptation to strike out at my enemies'. Now you have to admit that is real love in action.
So, cope with me, you who are burdened and loaded down, seek meekness seek truth, then probably Mr Viking Kent person will put YOU on his web site - see how you like it then!
Good day to you all - TJ
edited for verbal gallstones