Yeah, I did plant a seed one time and it sent him running to his elder (I call him the used car salesman) who gave him a Proclaimers book. I guess he was ambushed by the fact that I knew more about his religion's history than he did. Too bad he got his history from THEM rather than a reliable source!
Carla, I agree with what you said about therapists. She's a good sounding board, but since I've been going by myself, we've discussed divorce more. Funny enough, we once talked to the used car salesman and, after he stopped talking about himself, almost immediately started talking about a separation and how it's OK because it's in the scriptures. Seems like neither the marriage counselor nor the elder are interested in actually helping to save a marriage!
One of the things we did discuss was how he can't self-regulate and he needs the borg to tell him what to think, where to be, how to dress, act, blah blah blah. At first he took offense, then he re-stated it and I said "see, you just admitted it, you need them to tell you how to be...you don't even know who you are without the JW label." I think that's the most disheartening part of it all. He's been brainwashed for so long that any independent thought he has is "evil", he really believes it.
His mom kicked him out at about 15 (such a loving Christian woman, that one). He had been drinking & doing drugs and instead of getting him help...oh, yeah, I forgot, she did get him help...she had some elders come talk to him , she kicked him out so that he wouldn't influence his younger brother & sister. So, of course, he was "dead" in his eyes so he continued to drink and smoke then he went into the service and learned how to be a trained killer. He was good at that for awhile then continued to drink & smoke...this went on for over another 15 years. When we got together, I told him no more booze & drugs. That worked as far as the booze & drugs, but the thought is still there that he can't be a good husband & father without the WTBTS. Our first couple years were horrible because he was trying to convert me and wanted us to be "Super Witness Family"...no TV, no rock & roll, no caffeine or sweet food...and I hate to admit this...in the interest of trying to get along and be a good wife...he convinced me to throw out my extensive Stephen King collection. Finally, when he went back to the WTBTS against my wishes, I lost it and went to the Methodist Church I went to as a child and he about lost his mind...blah blah blah...I'm getting long winded, sorry.
Basically, my poor hubby is lost to THEM and I am really afraid I can't get him back. I can keep throwing things up to him, but I am convinced it's to no avail. Now I am trying to figure out how to keep my girls from it.
Thanks for your support & feedback!