Going to visit relatives...What do I do about boundaries with JW mom?

by megsmomma 6 Replies latest jw friends

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  megsmomma

  I am really excited about getting to go see my sister and grandparents in NV. I will be going with just my 1 1/2 yr old. My g-parents were never JW's and my sister was never baptised and just kind of rides the fence.

  The issue I am having is my mom lives right by them. I have not seen or spoken to her in over a year. (Since I had the baby and she said we would all die in "A" and I had to have her leave my home since she was upsetting me so much) I have tried to call her to no avail in the beginning...but, have since stopped (for over a year) and I really don't want to see her...but, I also want to be mature about it too. I know she doesn't care about seeing me at all...but, she would want to see Meg. (Even though she has shown no interest in her life at all)

  I was thinking of telling her if she wants to see us, she will have to sit down with only me first and we will go over some ground rules....basically no talk of religion...and if she has something to say, say it then.Then again, she wouldn't likely bring anything up with everyone else around anyways.

  I guess the big thing is I don't want her even around my baby...but, Megan is too young to be affected right now.

  I don't know...I guess I am just being a worry wart.
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  journey-on

  Hi, Megsmomma

  I say go enjoy your visit with your grandma and sister. Your mom will get wind that you're visiting, and if she chooses

  to come see you and the baby, fine. If not, I wouldn't give a rat's *ss.

  If she calls and wants to come see ya'll, tell her "sure, but don't bring your Wacktower babble with you. I don't want

  my visit stained nor my child exposed to it. Surely, we can find something else to discuss, like Meg's first year you

  missed out on."
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  megsmomma

  ohhh.....I like that! I want to point out what she's missed becuase it is RIDICULOUS!
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  Gopher

  I'm with Journey-On about this. Who knows exactly what she'll do? JW's have this mix of human and robot churning inside them, it's hard to tell which one will emerge in any given setting.

  Maybe seeing the baby will soften her a bit, or not. If she starts getting out of line, take charge of the situation to protect your sanity and to also re-establish your expectations of how you and Meg will be treated.

  Have a great time!!
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  emy the infidel

  "Then again, she wouldn't likely bring anything up with everyone else around anyways." That's good. She will behave around the family, but they are probably all aware that she hasn't been a g-mother to your daughter. Is she embarrassed about that? Too bad she can't see how destructive that religion is.

  "I guess the big thing is I don't want her even around my baby..." If that is really what you think then examine why and decide if it's worth the ruckus it could result in.
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  Younglove1999

  have a great time with your grandma and sister-

  So sad that she won't talk to you :(

  If it was me, I'd probably call her and let her know about your plans to come out and kind of feel her out there. Perhaps she may be so happy to see her grandchild, she'll just focus on that. Or she may start her ranting again- but at least you can gauge it ahead of time rather than having to deal with it during your trip out there.

  I hope it works out.
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  worldtraveller

  It's YOUR kids. Why expose them to such negative attitudes and hatred for your flesh and blood? I would never expose them to anyone that dislikes me-even and especially family. However that turns your kids into pawns. Not much better there either.

  Do your best.