Right, this is the story. I got involved with an ex-JW who had only just DA'd. The relationship did not last and I put it down to the baggage he was carrying from all his years as a JW and a bad marriage to a JW and so I tried to make allowances for him. We broke up, but he stayed in touch with a good friend of mine, who I have known for many years. She and I were very close. At first I thought he was staying in touch as it was indirect contact with me. Also, she knew I loved him, I told her everything about how I was feeling. He had another brief relationship, but it didn't work and he got in touch, saying that he still loved me. We decided to be friends, to see how that went. I then thought that my friend wanted to help us to see whether we may be able to get back together again.
However, the two of them started spending a lot of time together alone (she is married with a young child, but I know that she has problems within her marriage). She also was not telling me about this time that they were spending together. The things they are doing together do not seem right for a single man and a married woman and they seemed very cosy when they were together.
I spoke to him about this (which, admittedly, maybe I shouldn't have done) and he has said that he wouldn't have a problem having a relationship with her if he knew her marriage was not working. I have not spoken to her about my concerns, but it is obvious that they have each repeated things i said to them to the other, but neither of them has told me anything the other has said about me.
She was here the other day and things were a little tense between us and he sent me a nasty text regarding this. The only way for him to know anything had happened was if she had spoken to him behind my back. I spoke to her about this text and she admitted she had contacted him. I told her I was hurt that she had gone behind my back and I told her I thought this guy was an idiot. I did not say I thought there was something going on between them, although he is sure to have told her that I spoke to him about it. I said I would give her some time to think about what I had said and to contact me to let me know whether she wanted to try to work things out and save our friendship. It has been a few days and she has not got back to me.
Have I made too many allowances for this guy's JW past? Does this have nothing to do with that and everything to do with the fact that he is just messing us both about? I don't care about what happens to this man now. He is not the important one in all of this. What I do want is to save my long-term friendship and I don't want my friend to get hurt. What can I do? Have I got this all wrong? I really care about my friend, even though she has hurt me, be it knowingly or otherwise.