Hey everyone,
I thank you all for your advice and opinions and everything else you had to offer me in my time of need. To be honest I was greatful to have read your words prior to the demise of my relationship with my, now ex-boyfriend. When it came down to it, in the end, all of you were right; in that he didn't want to be with me becuase he finally realized I was not going to change my religion or change the up bringing my daughter to mirror or advocate his religion. It was such a painful and terrible conversation to have. Especially with someone, who's first conversation I remember having with them ever was about people should not wanting to change other people and they should love them for who they are. I point blank told him my daughter and I love him but he obviously didn't feel the same way if he was so eager to change us; meaning he didn't love us, not the way he was suppose to anyways.
I'm glad he told me eventually if not in the beginning because he could have waited even longer and my daughter could have been even MORE attached than she is now. I praise God she is 20 months and cannot speak well enough to voice her opinion on him walking out of her life and making it look as simple as her father made it look when she was born. Some men; some.... are just creeps, and I feel bad for them because it truly is their loss.
I know our relationship would have only gotten worse because at the end he said the real reason he decided he didn't want to be with me was because I did not ask his permission to go out with my girlfriends. I have a father and I promise I will never need another, and I am a mother of someone else, and I am not at a status in my life where I need to ask anyone permission to go anywhere or do anything with some friends, especially when I am not married and even if I was I do not see that stance changing to be honest.
Before I hung up, I took a strong stance and said this after he said he would call:
"Don't call me, Don't you ever call me. Pretend like you never knew who I was and lose my number and forget you ever knew me, because I wish I didn't know you, or ever met you. I'm sorry I ever gave you the privledge of getting to know me and my daughter only to hurt us and walk away. You know, you hate Jason so much and you always bad mouth him for what he did to me, and how he walked away from Jilyanna, but it's plain as day you're one in the same. It's so nice to see how it's so EASSSSSSY yet again for someone to walk right out of my daughters life like it is nothing to you... well kudos to you give yourself a pat on the back. I hope the next girl you date is a Jehovah's Witness so she never has to endure the things you just made me go through...
You don't care about me at all."
and as I hung up and spoke over him to say Bye, he said "that's not true"
and that was the end of it.
It took everything inside of me to do that and I am not lying when I say it hurts like hell to walk away from something your daughter as well as yourself put love, time, and commitment into.
I woke up this morning, threw all his things in a bag, and right into the garbage can.
Later this evening-- I am mailing him all the photos ever taken of us.
I never thought he would do this, never him, he was suppose to be the nice guy, and the honest truth is, I rather be cheated on, because I know that hurts less than this.
Again-- Thank you everyone for helping me in my time of need. It really means the world to me. I could have honestly been with him if he could have loved and accepted me for who I am and what I believe like I did him. But sometimes, you just feel a breath of relief when all is said and done. I'm a smart woman with an amazing head on my shoulders and I know I deserver someone who's dying to be with me, because I get asked out almost every week so it's not like I am at a dead end!
THANKS TO ALL OF YOU!!!