I really need some help here and I might go a lil over the place so bear with me.
My mother in law is religious, Christian but I'm not sure what kind. I am an exJW, left years ago. She sees the family treatment I get and doesn't approve but doesn't get it. She thinks my family is an exception to the rule in their shunning of me (further explained in next paragraph) and she feels they are just like other faiths that let people have the right of choice. When she asks me things I tend to get too emotional, I'd like to be more factual so I can show her why I think the JW's aren't good without sounding like it's personal bitterness, when you lose your family it's hard to not sound bitter isn't it.
Enter my new sister in law, let's call her J. My brother in law started dating this girl a few months ago, she was disfellowshipped at the time, they ended up getting married. My husband thinks his brother is under the impression that they are just like us but they aren't. For one thing I was never disfellowshipped, I choose to leave based on the hypocrisy of the religion. My family isn't happy but I've made my choice clear so they are now at the point, some of them, of just accepting it. The others in my family have chosen to cut me out permanently and I'm forbidden from contacting them. I know this might not sound nice or PC of me but I feel my choice to leave was an honourable/moral one, mature and well thought out. J was disfellowshipped for being unremoreseful over dating a non-JW and she seems to not care that she broke the rules. Now I don't agree with their rules but to show my disagreement I left, I didn't just break them and then thumb my nose without committing to separate myself.
Anyway end result with J now is that she's claimed to my MIL that the JW stuff is all personal choice, she said once she and my bro in law got married she would rejoin the religion just for her parents sake but doesn't personally buy into it anymore. Coincidentally she is now in a different congregation in one area and her parents in a new one elsewhere...personal choice?? To me this shows deception and hypocrisy, the things I was so disgusted with that I forfeit my family when I stood against them. It's disgusting and honestly I want to have nothing to do with my sister in law at all. My husband tried to talk reason to his bro but the twit wouldn't listen, we tried explaining what he was in for and the general response was "we will ignore them" or "oh well." Very mature don't ya think!??!
I may be going to my in laws this holiday which I'm looking forward to because I haven't seen them in a long time and I do love my inlaws (most of them lol). But I am worried they are going to invite J over and that would really ruin my holiday, I'm actually considering leaving because it wouldn't be right of me to tell my mil who she can or can't invite over.
So here's what I'm asking for:
1- advice on how to communicated to my mil what the JW's really are about while lil missJ sits there telling her the opposite (I'm almost 30 & have been in this family for 10 years now so you'd think I'd be the trusted source, J is only 19 and been in for 6 or so months but she also lives closer and sees my mil more)
2- how to deal with sister in law J in general (personally I'd opt for ignoring her)
3- how to handle events where we may be together like holidays Any other input is appreciated.