July 1966: My best friend (Ken) and I had known each other since 1956, when I was 5 and he was four. We did everything together, play cars and toy armies, cowboys and indians, Trick-or-Treating, movies, swimming, DisneyLand, sleep-overs, Boy Scouts, camping, long talks, sneaking cirgaettes, getting caught, and we even had a few fist fights and yelling matches. But we were more than friends, we were as close as brothers. He was Southern Baptist and I was a Catholic, so we even argued about religion once in a while. But we were still brothers. We planned on doing everything in life together, even with our families on camping trips, etc.
Eartier in the month he found out that his dad was being transferred to Oklahoma. On July 7th, his Birthday, he and I spent the day together as he was saying good-bye. Then, the next day, while he was on the road, my mother died. These are times one never forgets.
We wrote and had some phone calls, but as I was moving around myself, we lost some contact. So by 1969, I was about to become a JW, and tried witnessing to him, but his Southern Baptist sensabilities would not go along with my new found religion. So, I quietly abandoned contact with him.
Novermber 1970: I called to invite him to my wedding, and as JWs could still at that time have non-JWs in the wedding party, I invited him to be my Best Man. But, he was not able to make the trip. So, with that, we didn't get together again for a long time.
Spring of 1980: I was traveling a lot for General Electric to the east coast to work in Pennsylvania on the Susquehanna and Limerick Nuclear Stations. I stopped by in Oklahoma to visit Ken. We got along great, but, somehow, my religion was a barrier as I could not attend Church with him that Sunday, and this made him feel bad. I still beat the sox off of him playing Chess. We promised to stay in contact, but somehow, we both knew that would not happen.
Summer of 1992: I call Ken to let him know that I was walking away from the JW religion. I wanted to restore and reconcile our contact now that the JW mentality was gone. Ken was right there, and assured me that our brotherhood was and is always there the same as ever. He was pleased that I had left the religion, but as always wanted to know why.
When I told of what I had been through and what the religion was really like, he marveled in awe that I put up with it for so long. He said that he could not comprehend any religion like that - it was a foreign language to him to hear me talk of what JWs are like. Just one example, I noted how the Society never discloses how money is spent, nor dioes it publish to the rank and file members any financial statement that is meaningful, except for ocassional comments about how much is given to Pioneers or Circuit Overseers. I mentioned that the local congregation will read a statement of income and expenses to the congtregation at trhe service meeting, but the average JW does not truly follow it, and no statement is published for all to have.
He said that any church that is not open with money, they either fire the Pastor and Directors, or they quit the church. No apology, no thought about being apostate or unfaithful, becausde faith is not about a church but about a relationship with God.
How good a Friend! Since my call to him, we have talked on the phone frequently, written letters, sent Christmas cards, and got together at his place in California, and traveled together to Reno, Nevada so we could do some gambling and take in Dinner Shows. yes, and enjoyed a couple of Cigars - rare treat!
But more than that, his friendship with has lasted now for over 45 years. Inspite of my religion and neglect through time, he was there for me when I needed to build a new life after the Watchtower. He did not complain about my beliefs or bitch about the lost time, or get on my case for being stupid to join a cult. No, he understood, and was pleased that our bonds of friendship - brotherhood - were stronger than some religion, some organization, and that the test of time proved to both of us how lucky we are to be life long friends through thick and thin.
I treasure every moment on the phone with him. I keep him updated on things like NBC Dateline that will air someday after Osama bin Laden is defeated. He calls just to say hi, and I thank God that this good friend is there - and that the Watch Tower did not take that away and in fact could not take away something that is far superior to them, and that is, the bonds of real true friendship that transcends the weak conditionalized relationship with a publishing corporation.
The Point: Maing amneds, reconciling, apoloigizing, forgiving, and reconstructing or building anew are all important features of life outside and after the Watchtower - they are like gold because we appreciate them more than ever before - and they are what makes life worth living - and they make us realize that leaving the JWs is not about being lost, but about being found. - Amazing