An answer to "Snakes" prayer: Fresh JWD Meat. [inkling]!!

by Open mind 4 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Open mind

  Snakes started a thread earlier today asking about where JWD has headed since Trevorgate and Dannygate.
  
  Well, I'd just like to take this opportunity to call attention to a fairly new poster who truly has a gift for writing and, IMO, great insights into the JW-experience.
  
  With [inkling]'s permission I am sharing a PM he sent me re: how he and his wife have almost simultaneously "awakened". I've only removed a tiny bit that could be personally identifying. Hope you all enjoy the read and thanks again to [inkling] for taking the time to put these thoughts into electrons.
  
  Open Mind
  
  **************************************
  
  Subject line: where does one buy a spiritual alarm clock?
  
  
  First off, thanks for taking the time to both read my posts
  and offer feedback. My activity here at JWD is proving very
  therapeutic, and it is even more satisfying to hear that my
  writing resonates with even a few others.
  
  I feel very welcome here, and I do get enough response to
  inspire me to continue posting.
  
  I would be interested in hearing your story. Have you posted
  much about you situation?
  
  I'm not sure how exactly my wife and I got to the same place
  at nearly the same time, but I think it has less to do with
  some specific "secret alarm clock" and more to do with who
  we are as people. I know absolutely no one like my wife, and
  her unique free-minded spiritually and tendency towards
  off-center independent thinking is one of the reasons I
  was attracted to her to begin with.
  
  That shared tendency towards questioning authority combined
  with the fact that we have quite similar communication styles
  is a big part of why we are where we are. I'm not sure I
  would have had the courage to be honest with myself if it
  were not for her unshockable nature.
  
  This is a weird trait in general, and especially among
  witnesses, where free spirits are often stifled.
  
  That having been said, the tempo of our awakening was quite
  gradual, and led mostly by me. The early glimmer of it was
  simply being honest enough to say out loud "I think that maybe
  the organization that we are part of is far more imperfect than
  it thinks it is."
  
  We are both readers and students, and even the early stages
  of our modest academic education [edited: This is the part where he tells me that he and his wife both received intensive training to be dental hygienists for Narwahls. ;-) ] we were exposed to
  basic concepts of philosophy and critical thinking that began
  to give form and structure to our lurking doubts.
  
  I don't think we ever really "fit" into witness spirituality,
  and to a certain extent both of us have been rebelling in small
  principled ways ever since we were children. Our mutual doubts
  reenforced themselves into a feedback loop of courage and
  intellectual honesty.
  
  If someone is truly happy being a witness, I don't think there is
  much that will shake that. The system of fear-guilt and the emotional
  and social payoff that is awarded for unquestioning loyalty is VERY
  powerful, and should not be underestimated.
  
  Even if there is no Red Flag of Apostasy that flies up and shuts off
  the willingness of someone to listen, if the soil of their soul is
  not ready for doubt to grow, nothing can force it to grow.
  
  I recall a few years ago a good friend of mine was basically exactly
  where I am today, and was expressing doubt of the literal nature
  of the flood of Noah and even the existence of God, and I listened
  with intense curiosity. I was hungry to hear about his crisis. I heard
  and understood his logic, and saw the power of his evidence.
  
  And I felt nothing.
  
  I completely understood his reasons, and I respected his newly acquired
  agnosticism, but it had no emotional impact on my faith. I heard what
  he was saying, but I was SURE my world view was correct. Behold the
  power of cognitive dissonance.
  
  
  "It is very difficult to get a man to understand something when his
  livelihood depends on his not understanding it."
  
  -Upton Sinclair
  
  
  Of course looking back, I can feel impact from my friends doubt, and since
  then he has been a wonderful resource and sounding board, but at the time my
  faith was impermeable... We will go to startling lengths to protect that which
  makes us feel warm and fuzzy. Can you really blame us? We humans really enjoy
  warm and fuzzy.
  
  Even if I had the power to (which I don't) I would find it very hard to
  intentionally take away something that makes someone so happy as total
  trust in The Truth. I just cannot bring myself to destroy someone's faith,
  even if I had the opportunity and was SURE they were misled. As long
  as they don't tread on the rights of others, I can't be so cruel as to
  snatch away their blanky, teddy bear, or cuddly paradise tiger.
  
  Perhaps that makes me a weak person. Maybe they need a rude awakening,
  but for the love of god I sure can't bring myself to take on that role.
  
  I guess I make a rather lousy apostate.
  
  Even if I tried to force them to doubt, all that would do would cause them
  to dig in deeper. The doubt must come from INSIDE them. You can't plant
  critical thinking, you can only water it. When the person you love comes
  to the harsh reality that their teddy bear is ripped, you need to be there
  to pick up the pieces and help them accept the shades-of-grey universe
  they are seeing for the first time.
  
  The thing that makes me most sad is to think how many people die in
  a world that is still appears to them to be black and white.
  
  
  
  
• 

  Open mind

  TMI?
• 

  Open mind

  Well I see this has gotten quite a few views, but no comments so......
  
  I'll give it a Monday morning "bttt" and comment on what I really liked.
  
  "That shared tendency towards questioning authority combined
  with the fact that we have quite similar communication styles
  is a big part of why we are where we are."
  
  My wife doesn't like being TOLD what to do, by ANYONE. That's one ray of hope for me.
  
  "...we were exposed to
  basic concepts of philosophy and critical thinking..."
  
  I'm having to carry the ball on this one and JWD is a HUGE help in this regard.
  
  "I heard
  and understood his logic, and saw the power of his evidence.
  
  And I felt nothing."
  
  That's the frustrating part that requires mountains of patience.
  
  OK, I'm done.
  
  Anything you liked/disliked about [inkling]'s PM to me?
  
  Open Mind
• 

  ex-nj-jw

  Of course looking back, I can feel impact from my friends doubt, and since
  then he has been a wonderful resource and sounding board, but at the time my
  faith was impermeable... We will go to startling lengths to protect that which
  makes us feel warm and fuzzy. Can you really blame us? We humans really enjoy
  warm and fuzzy.

  This part of the thread describes most of the JW's I know. They are holding tight to their warm and fuzzy! It's comfortable, it's what they know and anything else scares the crap out of them.

  Thanks for sharing OM and inkling, that was really good!

  nj
• 

  zack

  I can identify with the emotional part. Most people only act or react when it becomes personal, thus emotional. I think when something

  happens in a Witness' life that goes against the core of who they are, then that's what wakes them up.

  I remember a PO saying to us the BOE at a quarterly meeting: "We are all expendable." And I remember thinking,

  "So Christ died so that the Org. can consider us all expendable, like razors?" It was totally incongruent.

  Thanks for sharing.