just looking for some advice

jessica448

i just want to start off by saying that i am not a Jehovah's Witness...about six months ago i started dating a really great guy, and about 2 months into our relationship he shared with me that he was disfellowshipped for a relationship he was in (he was living with his girlfriend). this is so difficult for him because his family lives in the area, and being segregated from them is very hard for him. recently, he has been considering an attempt to be reinstated (i'm sorry if i am not using the correct terminology...most of what i know about the religion i have learned online). he has been totally up-front with me about the fact that if he was to return, we could no longer be together. i love him - but i know that this would mean more to him than anything. i want to be supportive, but i'm struggling. i would love any insight anyone could give me about this...i just want what's best for him - i just don't know enough about a situation like this.

ldrnomo

Wow it sounds like you really love this man. The best thing you could do for him is make him aware of the hypocracy of the Watchtower Society. Order the Book Crisis of Consience by Raymond Franz. You can order it from Amazon.com

Start reading it and show it to your boyfriend if he is not too brainwashed by the Watchtower he may be able to open his eyes to the brainwashing the WT does to people.

Do everything in your power to try and keep him from getting reinstated.

tula

Jessica, welcome to the board. I think you are the second person this week with a similar problem.

I think you will find a lot of the discussion at this link to be useful to you. Just click on the blue writing.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/20/144899/2610686/post.ashx#2610686

Burger Time

Here is a link with the whole convo so you don't have to click on individual replies.... CLICK HERE

BIG D

i know all about jw, was in for 45 years, run away, he will leave you, when he gets back in!

big d

jgnat

Hi, Jessica. I'm a non-JW who married a witness. In our case, he risked the displeasure of the elders and his organization to marry me. Our commitment required sacrifice for both of us.

Since your relationship is young, I don't think your boyfriend has laid down enough roots to give up priveleges in the society in order to be with you. The decision is really out of your hands.

Why do you feel obligated to support his desire to return to the society, if by doing so it causes you so much pain?

Here's a series of "best of..." threads on this site for those in love or married to a JW. http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/32/77159/1.ashx

OnTheWayOut

Order the Book Crisis of Consience by Raymond Franz. You can order it from Amazon.com

Remember, that book is for him. It's really best for JW's. You can also google
Commentary Press to order it direct.

You can order COMBATTING CULT MIND CONTROL, also at Amazon or direct
from freedomofmind.com. Both of you would benefit from that book.

He certainly is not aware that he is in a mind-control cult.

eclipse

When I was much younger, and very serious about being a witness,

I dropped my non-JW boyfriend that I really loved, I chose the religion over him.

He never forgave me.

He will most likely chose the religion over you. The pull is that strong.

Get him to read the above mentioned books. Crisis of Conscience and Combatting Mind Control.

He has no idea he is in a high-control religion.

I wish you all the best, fight for him, get him to free his mind,

but be prepared for the possibilty that he will choose his religion

and walk away from the person he loves - you.

OnTheWayOut

Jessica posted this on Worldly Girl81's thread about a DF'ed boyfriend:

i'm in the exact same situation...minus the divorce and kids...which i know changes things - but as far as my boyfriend considereing being reinstated. it's tough. i just hope that if he does reinstate, he'll take the time to explain the religion to me, i would consider converting for him. i hope he wouldn't just dump me.

Let's make sure she knows why that's a bad idea- converting.

Better to lose him than to subject the both of you to that misery.

Aleman

Dear Jessica,

You could also try to find out what's going on in his faith and try to have an open mind when you go into a meeting. I prefer you go in a Sunday meeting with him, just to start off and then judge for yourself if this is worth staying with him or leaving him.

I once had the same problem, but I wanted to know what she was getting into so I followed her one day. I listened to the preacher and watched as they all participated. I was quite impressed that I am now a member and also I got married with her.

My advise is to look up many sources of information and experience it for yourself with an open mind to see if this is something for you. Otherwise, I tell you the truth, he will leave you. "Give peace a chance."

-Aleman

just looking for some advice

Share this