Strange thing - the menatility of the disfellowshipped

Billzfan23

I was in Target the other day with this girl that I have been dating for a few weeks - we were browing around, she was getting some housewares for a new apartment that she is moving in to..but that's neither here nor there...

I turn the corner - and there stand a couple of dubs that were assigned to my book study when I was an elder last year. One of them is 24 years old, the other is around 18 or 19 now. The older sister walks up to me, says hi, gives me the biggest hug and the sweetest smile and just blurts out "Hey you... I got disfellowshipped last month" I said... "aww... that's too bad - it is great to see you. Are you planning on sticking with it and going back?" She says "Yeah, I am..." and I said "Well, good luck with that - it was great to see you"

Her sister (Pioneer, good standing) - is kind of hiding from me while her older sister is talking to me. I catch a glimps of her, and shouted "Hey, Tori, your hair looks great" She says "Aww... Thanks" but won't make eye contact and keeps walking the other way.

It struck me funny that if the older DF'ed sister saw me after her reinstatement - she would go the other way too. However, because her current state is that of a disfellowshipped person - she's perfectly fine with hugging me, saying hello, making small talk..etc...

Such a double standard and you can tell that THEY CAN'T STAND the way that they are "required" to treat me.. If the smoke and mirror were gone we would all be thick as thieves but because it's an effing cult...this is the way it goes...

tere1998

Why were they shopping together? I thought family members were only supposed to socialize with DF family members only when necessary?

I agree, though, that the whole thing is so stupid.

R.Crusoe

It is natural for humans to form close personal bonds. It promotes healthy relationships and a healthy self esteem - from the dawn of our small step for mankind onto planet Earth! The WTBTS demands your entire allegiance be placed in its literature so that you will have no bonds for normal life without its express permission. In effect it demands you bond to it stronger than to any human being. That way it is in complete control of your life, spouse, children, relatives, friends etc. I cannot see that is love! I cannot think it my business to tell you or anyone who to relate to and become intimate with at a social or any other level. It is why when you are out you feel so surreal. You have attempted to form your most close personal friendship (soul-mate) with an evolving treadmill of literature. It is inhumane!

Billzfan23

Why were they shopping together? I thought family members were only supposed to socialize with DF family members only when necessary?

They are.. that's what makes it so strange... They will shop with their fleshly sister because they know they can get away with it and will only be "counseled" for it.. but they won't talk to me because I am not family.. it's stranger than fiction...

Cicatrix

I find it ironic that when JWs run into my daughter and I together, they talk to her but not to me. She actually left before I did. She was never allowed to be baptised when she asked. I was baptised and officially DAd myself, without giving them any reason beyond I no longer wished to be a JW.They really think that shunning me and talking to her will make me want to come back. Actually, it makes her angrier than it makes me, and reminds me of all the reasons why I left in the first place. Although it IS pretty handy that she can pass messages to me, lol.

gumby

"Yeah, once your disfellowshipped, you might as well do what you want"

Since the witnesses believe that if you die in a disfellowshipped state, there is no hope for you should armageddon come.....it leaves the DFed one feeling they are free of all rules. That of course is untill that one decides to be reinstated. Then,they must act as though they are a witness in good standing.

I'm surprised this girl hangs out with her witness sister if she wants to be reinstated. I'm not sure how long it is before you can request reinstatement after being DFed. Anyone know?

Gumby

jwfacts

It is an unnatural system that makes no sense, yet a JW cannot see the hypocrisy of it.

For example, on finding out that I was going to be d/f my cousin suggested we go out for a meal for the last time before the announcement. Surely if the decision is made that I am an evil apostate, there is no reason why it should be acceptable to talk to me prior to the official announcement but not afterwards.

My other cousin was never baptised and is now opposed to the religion, her feeling towards it are similar to mine. When she is with the family she makes an effort to explain to them why it is a cult. Yet she is allowed to freely visit them, but I am not.

VoidEater

It's a very rules-based culture. If you know the rules, you can blindly dance the dance...

R.F.

It is an unnatural system that makes no sense, yet a JW cannot see the hypocrisy of it.
For example, on finding out that I was going to be d/f my cousin suggested we go out for a meal for the last time before the announcement. Surely if the decision is made that I am an evil apostate, there is no reason why it should be acceptable to talk to me prior to the official announcement but not afterwards.

I couldn't agree with you more jwfacts.

I know a fading JW, well she could very get the ax by the elders for apostate activity, and her parents know about all of this, yet they told her to walk away quietly since they couldn't talk with her if she ever gets DFed.

It makes no sense to me that they are willing to talk to her even right now then.

R.F.

justhuman

They are all like that

Strange thing - the menatility of the disfellowshipped

Share this