Adult sibling rivalry.....

by juni 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • juni
    juni

    I love my kids and my grandkids. BUT.. it seems like the season of "giving" brings out pent up hard feelings from the year. YOU do more, give more.. blah, blah, blah for one over the other. I am soooo tired of this. Not everyone "gets" the same.

    Do any of you deal w/this? Any suggestions?

    Thanks for your suggestions. I want to clarify.... this deals w/the entire year, not just Christmas giving. Divorce in two of the families affects my time w/some of the grandkids because of having to deal w/the exes. One kid lives very close to me so I see her a lot. The others feel that all should be equal. I say it can't be... that's life. That's circumstances... I'm trying to do my best.

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  • Junction-Guy
    Junction-Guy

    No, in fact my brother and I are best friends and get along much better since both of us left the JW's. There was more sibling rivalry when we went to the kingdom hall.

    If that seems to be a problem for you now, why not agree for everyone to keep the gifts simple and then there will be no hard feelings.

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  • zeroday
    zeroday

    When I was a kid (1 of 6) my parents got us each the same number of gifts usually in the same price range...As an adult we put names in a hat and draw one and get that person a gift not over $50...

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  • blondie
    blondie

    We coordinate with the other sibling as to what to get the MIL, usually things she needs but can't afford on social security. As to each other, just practical things, 2 gifts each, CDs, books, clothing, movie cards. Coordinating and sharing the cost for the MIL has cut down on some of the "rivalry." Life is too short to spoil it with that. We try to give suggestions through the men who always haven't a clue. But Irreverent gives thoughtful gifts. Keep the gifts small.

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  • ninja
    ninja

    hi juni.....give them all 2 batteries each...with a label saying...."toy not included"...cheap and fair to all

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  • *summer*
    *summer*

    I have twins who are now adults. And this "rivalry" is still alive and kicking. It often comes out as a joke now. Still, I believe the joke often covers a hint of truth. And sometimes, it is downright on the ridiculous side.

    For instance...last week, I was talking with my daughter about ideas for Christmas dinner. I happened to mention that I would make a certain favorite dessert for her brother. Right then and there, she said...and what are you going to make for me? Goodness, this girl is a chartered accountant!!! But it seems the minute they come back home, they revert to their childish ways.

    How do I deal with it??? I don't pay too much attention. It seems to be a lost cause. I am only grateful they are good kids who are healthy and earn an honest living. All else does not matter too much in the scheme of things:smile:

    *SUMMER*

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  • ninja
    ninja

    are your twins to the same father?

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  • ninja
    ninja

    p.s....he he

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  • juni
    juni

    Thank you again for each of your suggestions.

    Summer... my fellow "granola"... YES. EXACTLY. They revert back to childhood banter even though they are adults in their 30's. Actually, besides being so frustrating, it makes me feel sad cause I'm trying to do my best w/o any help from their Dad. He withdraws and has me handle the crap.

    The holidays seem to be the catalyst to their dissonance.

    That's a good one ninj....have to remember that one!

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  • Junction-Guy
    Junction-Guy

    Tell them it could be worse, you could revert back to the JW's and all celebrations be cancelled, that ought to get them thinking.

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