An Army of Women & the Taliban

by Jang 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • Jang
    Jang

    Take all women who are within five years of menopause - train us for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks, moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna - drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, and let us do what comes naturally.

    Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stuff like grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to make even armed men in turbans tremble.

    We've had our children, we would gladly suffer or die to protect them and their future. We'd like to get away from our husbands, if they haven't left already. And for those of us who are single, the prospect of finding a good man with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by lightning. We have nothing to lose.

    We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet, and the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across America and never lost a pound. We can easily survive months in the hostile terrain of Afghanistan with no food at all!

    We've spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers in bars, hardware stores, or sporting events...finding bin Laden in some cave will be no problem.

    Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government? Oh,
    please ... we've planned the seating arrangements for in-laws and extended families at Thanksgiving dinners for years ... we understand tribal warfare.

    Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know every trick there is for how they hide, launder, or cover up bank accounts and money sources. We know how to find that money and we know how to seize it ... with or without the government's help!

    Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror as we crawl like ants with hot-flashes over their godforsaken terrain

    JanG
    CAIC Website: http://caic.org.au/zjws.htm
    Personal Webpage: http://uq.net.au/~zzjgroen/

  • ozziepost
    ozziepost

    Mrs Ozzie thinks this is HILARIOUS!!!

    Glad you posted it, Jan. We need a bit of lite relief!

    Cheers,
    Ozzie

    "It's better to light a candle than to curse the darkness."
    Anonymous

  • outnfree
    outnfree

    JanG, honey!!!

    How are you?

    Got this, too, in my e-mail just yesterday.
    Has the ring of truth some days, doesn't it?

    outnfree

    Par dessus toutes choses, soyez bons. La bonte est ce qui ressemble le plus a Dieu et ce qui desarme le plus les hommes -- Lacordaire

  • Tina
    Tina

    (((((janG)))))))))))
    Too funny.Thanks! How ya been dear? luv,tina

    Jehovahs Witnesses,Proudly Serving Their Corporate Masters!

  • pettygrudger
    pettygrudger

    That was so hillarious - THANK YOU!!!

  • Kent
    Kent

    Cool story, Jang. Too bad these women, hated by their government, aren't welcome to places where they would be safe :)

  • Yerusalyim
    Yerusalyim

    Can women parachute in steath? I've heard they whistle on the way down! (OPPS!)

    YERUSALYIM
    "Vanity! It's my favorite sin!"
    [Al Pacino as Satan, in "DEVIL'S ADVOCATE"]

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