The alleged events of the evening of December 24th

RisingEagle

Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of property (hereinafter "House" ) a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to, a mouse. A variety of foot apparel, e.g., stockings, socks, etc., had been affixed by and around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick a/k/a St. Nicholas a/k/a Santa Claus (hereinafter "Claus" ) would arrive sometime thereafter. The minor residents, i.e., the children, of the aforementioned House were located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, i.e., dreams, wherein visions of confectionary treats, including, but not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear in said dreams.

Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to as "I" ), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House with the party of the second part (hereinafter "Mamma" ), and said Mamma had retired for a sustained period of sleep. At such time, the parties were clad in various forms of headgear, e.g., kerchief and cap. Suddenly, and without prior notice or warming, there did occur upon the unimproved real property adjacent and appurtenant to said House, i.e., the lawn, a certain disruption of unknown nature, cause and/or circumstance. The party of the first part did immediately rush to a window in the House to investigate the cause of such disturbance. At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some degree of wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter “the Vehicle” ) being pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately eight (8) reindeer. The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be and in fact was, the previously referenced Claus. Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction and guidance to the approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically identified the animal co-conspirators by name: Dash, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen (hereinafter “the Deer” ). Upon information and belief, it is further asserted that an additional co-conspirator named “Rudolph” may have been involved.

The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle, and the Deer intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several residences located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and noted that the Vehicle was heavily laden with packages, toys, and other items of unknown origin or nature. Suddenly, without prior invitation or permission, either express or implied, the Vehicle arrived at the House, and Claus entered said House via the chimney. Said Claus was clad in a red fur suit, which was partially covered with residue from the chimney, and he carried a large sack containing a portion of the aforementioned packages, toys, and other unknown items. He was smoking what appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe in blatant violation of local ordinances and health regulations. Claus did not speak but immediately began to fill the stockings of the minor children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other small gifts. (Said items did not, however, constitute “gifts” to said minor pursuant to the applicable provisions of the U.S. Tax Code.)

Upon completion of such task, Claus touched the side of his nose and flew, rose and/or ascended up the chimney of the House to the roof where the Vehicle and Deer waited and/or served as “lookouts.” Claus immediately departed for an unknown destination. However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from said House, the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim: “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!” Or words to that effect.

momzcrazy

Are you a lawyer by chance? Mind if I read your story to the little ones in front of the fire on the 24th?

momz

horrible life

I just thought I would pop in, for just a few minutes. See what is up, while I take a break from wrapping and cleaning. Going to the City tomorrow, for pre-Christmas. When I first saw the longer post, I kinda cringed. But, after I read your first 2 lines, you had me. I immediately grinned, and sat back in my chair, to read and enjoy. That my body did that, was very noticable. Been very uptight for a couple of days.

An idea, that a friend of mine did: She had a fire-place. Christmas Eve, she complained to her husband, in front of her daughter, that she was worried that Santa would get ashes from the fireplace, on her carpet, with his boots. So..... As a family, they spread out sheets, from the fireplace to the tree. The next morning, who would have guessed, footprints on the sheet!! Cookies gone. Presents under the tree!!

RisingEagle

Momz: "Are you a lawyer by chance?"

Nah, but I once saw a guy play one on TV. In my work I see lots of contracts and documents in lawyer (pronounced: liar) speak, I found this funny and wanted to share it. I also get tons of e-mails from people that find amusing stuff on the intertubes and the occasional forwarded jdub garbage.

"Mind if I read your story to the little ones in front of the fire on the 24th?"

Without the implied consent of the author, the party responsible for providing the posting of the above e-mail in no way offers warranty to the accuracy of the alleged events stated in said posting. Any adverse effects encountered are entered into at the risk of the reader, any result that occurs, such as sleep induced hallucinations by the minor children of the reader are hereafter taken at the readers own jeopardy.

If you'll print off three copies of the above and have your signature notarized on each of them and return them USPS certified mail, return receipt requested, then yes.

Or you could just do it anyway.

ex-nj-jw

That was nice risingeagle - made me smile and chill out a bit. My day has been very hectic and that made me take a minute and relax.

Thanks!! And I hope you and yours have a Merry Christmas!

nj

The alleged events of the evening of December 24th

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