Nightmares of an exJW

joelbear69

Had one of my nightmares last night.
No, not about demons chasing me, those ended a long time ago.

I have a lot of dreams about people who are
no longer in my life because I am no longer a witness.

Last night the people in my dream were two of my nieces
and they were in my dream as I remember them 20 years ago,
one a teenager and the other a toddler.

It was a very weird dream. I won't go into details. It
ended with them running towards me from a distance and
me waking up sobbing.

I dream often of family and friends, even though its
been 20 years since I started a new life.

Love just doesn't stop with disfellowshipping. Truly
the most hideous torture device for controlling people
ever evented.

hugs to all

Joel

candidlynuts

hugs joel

the psychological torture is horrible.

i have nightmares often too, i'm in a room with my daughter screaming " I"M ALIVE" and she doesnt hear.

it happens often enough the doc gave me new meds.

babygirl75

((((((Joel))))))

I often dream of family members and old friends of mine as well. Breaking the family ties is the most evil thing the society has ever enforced!

Babygirl....

Tatiana

alt

((((((Joel))))) I dream too....

Open mind

((( joel )))

Reading things like this really dredges up self-loathing for any part I've ever played in this evil "arrangement".

Here's to healing.

Open Mind

wednesday

" say a prayer for the brokenhearted,

toll a bell for our sons and daughters..

the future ain't what it used to be"

I hung on with my family until someone told me you can't force people to love you. I was going to keep trying to extend my hand but had to give up.

This kind of thing totally proves they are not followers of Christ. it is the cruelest thing you can do to someone- shun them.

dogisgod

Yeah, Joel. Dreams of unreturned affection (or is it affliction?) powerlessness, sadness. Some things will never be fixed. They just burrow deeper...harder to get to.

WTWizard

When I was active, I have had a few dreams about having incompletely taken down my Christmas decorations and was still doing that, about getting disfellowshipped or reproved, and being unprepared for the field circus. For instance, I would be at a call and not have any material whatsoever, or be working alone and not have a plan or material.

Now that I am no longer a witless, I have dreams of finding myself in a Kingdumb Hell, not knowing why I went there in the first place or having made a very stupid decision, and finding out that the hounders were coming in when I attempted to leave. I still gat a few of those not-ready for field circus dreams, and some where I find myself at an a$$embly. I have had dreams where it was the last day of a 7- or 8-day a$$embly, and I had all my packing left to do before leaving the motel room (and it was more than would reasonably be expected).

The worst? Having to move in, either temporarily (for a vacation, for instance) or permanently, with the lead hounder and his family. Those would cut in somewhere in the middle. Which is very strange, since I have some of his kids' pictures and looking at them is almost enough to make me puke (I only keep them around as a reminder of why I never want to go back). There is no way I could be there three or four days and not want to bolt then, but now that it is day 5 I suddenly regret it. Ah, the disjointed world of dreams...

Nightmares of an exJW

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