At what point...?

-Tank

Do you ever wonder at what point...you just say screw it? At what point do you get so bitter, and so down towards love, that you think your better off to shun it from your entire life? At what point do ya just friggen lose it? If you do, are you missing out, or is a happy life alone possible?

minimus

when you decide the priesthood is for you.

prophecor

When it brings about more pain than gain, cosistently over several years and decades. Love has left me an incredibly bitter, cynical, and hopelessly reserved person. It can be done, living alone without the getting lonely. Relationships, properly mapped out require extensive amounts of work. Many do not recognise this in the beggining, or even now, for that matter. If you're not going to condition yourself to the fact that for the sake of having sex, relationships are more than perpetual "Booty Calls", then when the work that's required to develop, maintain and nuture that relationship is left wanting, then we find that we may want for someone else. We'll be in a constant, negative cycle of running from one person to the next in order to try and get our needs met.

-Tank

I guess it is just me then.

As I stated in one poll, I am a Long Haul Trucker, so I am alone all the time, and I just work, and I guess it sometimes gets to me. It is different when your single but have a very active lifestyle and go out every night or have many friends you socialize with, it is alot harder to make it work when your alone in the cab 24/7.

I am also very very bitter and negative as the result of past love. I guess sometimes I find myself wonder, at what point will I just snap? At what point can a person only take so much of rejection and loneliness.

darkuncle29

I think that when you get to that point, and you still want on some level to have a "normal" relationship, that the first thing you have to do is STOP.

Starting with the idea that damaged people attract damaged people, you need to consider "Ok, what is my problem? What issues drive me? What energy am I putting out, and therefore attracting?"

A therapist or other can help with this, but I think that if a person is honest with themselves they can accomplish this on their own too.

I also believe that you need to be a complete, self reliant soul before you go out seeking a partner. No not perfect, just aware that you are responsible for your health, thoughts, and emotions. You need to love yourself. If you are looking for someone to "complete me" or "make me happy", then your doomed from the get go.

Then you take the time to make yoruself a person who you would want to be with, who you would find attractive. Not in a gay way, but in a way "I like this guy, he's cool, we should hang out."

This takes time, but people will be drawn to you. At first it may be very difficult to not get involved with the wrong type of people again, this takes knowing yourself very well. Try to see what your patterns are: if the first person who comes up to you is always the one you go home with and then end up with for some time, but you're never happy with then STOP going with the first person who comes up to you. What may be harder is to go to the people who you may not feel an initial attraction. Part of this process is getting in touch with your gut, insticts. But since they've been leading you off for years, you will try to use them first as a reverse compass.

I think the most important step though is to work on yourself, and time being single could be looked at as a blessing as it gives you room to grow and change.

mentalclearness

I think darkunlcle 29 gave some excellent advice.

jgnat

Every profession comes with it's down-sides. I have friends who are in to the trucking business, and they make their marriage work. You might just have to create work-arounds for the down-sides of your profession. Or find another profession.

I think you've got too much time on your hands to think. Are you in to audio books? Anything to get your mind off your current situation?

I know some people who have lived very successful single lives. But they nearly all are women. Women live longer single. Men don't.

Hey, if you are ever around Edmonton-way, drop me a line. I'd enjoy meeting you.

-Tank

Thanks all, and that is some very good advice darkuncle29, thanks.

I will def look you up when I am around the Edmonton way on my Vacation, would be a privilege to meet ya!

I know now I have to like myself first, and know who I am and what I want, before I know who I want, and what I want out of them and a relationship with them.

Lumptard

If you're wondering when you'll snap, then you probably won't.

At what point...?

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