Hi friends!
Mentally im out of the org, but stay in it because of family, friends and wife. Most of the time im pretty happy, until i remember that this wont last forever. When i remember i cant live this lie forever. When my conscience tells me to do something. Regardless what happends to me and my future life i have to be honest to myself. When i remember all this i can feel pretty helpless and down.
I put this song on loop and feel better:
R.E.M. - Losing My Religion
Im aware of the fact that this song and the phrase "Losing My Religion" actually isnt about religion at all, but the lyrics just fit perfectly (the fear, all the stuff i found out but noone listens but judges me, my distancing wife, everything). Love it.
Just wanted to share with all of you. I know im not new with this ;) I just wanted to share, maybe someone needs it right now.
http://www.lyrics007.com/R.E.M.%20Lyrics/Losing%20My%20Religion%20Lyrics.html
Much love to all of You! I think of all of you who may have the same problems atm. The knowledge of others going through the same horror saved my life one day in 2006, when everything crashed down on me while attending an assembly - noone who doesnt experienced it can imagine how it feels. I wont give up now. Thanks.
freeme