*primal screaming*

Bobbi

OK I am in the middle of a dilemma.

After Para spoke to his parents about us leaving the Organization, they decided not to associate with us. They did
agree to not narc us out to the elders. However one of them must have told Para's brother JXXX because he started ranting
about us hating witnesses and not wanting anything to do with witnesses even if they are family.

We found out about this because someone emailed me to ask what was going on. This person used to be one of my best friends
and I had been avoiding telling her I was not going to be a witness anymore. Needless to say my cover was blown.

Para's brother and parents have not contacted us in about 2.5 months. My oldest son asked me "Why do (Para's parents) hate me?"
My middle son wants to know when he is going to uncle JXXX's house. My baby freaks every time I drive near where the grandparents
live and screams "Nana" over and over again.

Then, this past weekend, JXXX sends a text message to Para saying he got a new car and wants to show it to him. No, sorry we havent'
tried to talk to you, no how have you been.

Para thinks this change is because we delivered an anniversary card to his parents. I guess we aren't satans minions after all.

My angst is this.....

Who the f*$k do they think they are? They have hurt three little children beyond repair. They have alienated Para and myself.

Do I allow myself to let them back into my life? And if Para asks me to, what should I do?

BurnTheShips

Wow that is sick! Heartbreaking.

Do I allow myself to let them back into my life? And if Para asks me to, what should I do?

I can't know all the subtleties of your situation from a post but my gut says yes, let them back in. They are brainwashed with cult propaganda. Be the better person and make allowances. Also, from the baby's reaction, it seems that he/she loves them and they are not totally bad. If they see your decency when they associate with you it might make them start to reconsider what they have believed in the bOrg.

It is hard I understand. I wish you luck.

changeling

Is it really damaged beyond repair?

It would seem your kindness (the anniversary card) has already reaped good fruits.

Your boys are still little, if your in-laws pick up where they left off now, they will not remember this silent period.

IMHO: Don't be the one to close the door. If they want to come back in, graciously lead the way.

changeling

ex-nj-jw

Maybe not close the door but be very cautious. If I knew then what I know now, I would keep my children away from my parents (mom especially) without a doubt. She has done more harm than good to my oldest son, he's 25 and F*^%$# up in the head because of her.

Don't leave your children alone with any JW imo. Talk it over with the hubby and make the decision together. Most of all protect your children!

nj

VoidEater

Do I allow myself to let them back into my life?

Do you want them in your life? All things being equal, do they enhance your life (and yours, theirs)? If yes, then work on the relationship. Did they behave badly? Sounds like it. But people in relationship hurt each other sometimes. If the pain was not unforgiveable, or if it can be healed, go for it.

And if Para asks me to, what should I do?

Once you have come to a conclusion about what you would like to see happen, share that with him.

From the surface, from hundreds of miles away, I think there's a chance that these relationships can be repaired. And you might open their eyes to the fact that you're the very same people you've always been.

Hortensia

In the nicest possible way, call them on their behavior. Very nicely point out how cruel they have been to defenseless children who love them. At the same time, DO NOT allow these people to have access to your children without your presence. I have seen and heard too many cases where the believing JW relatives have seriously screwed with an ex-JW's children. It does serious damage to little children to be told that mommy and daddy are going to be destroyed by jehovah because they are rebellious or evil or apostate or turned their backs on jehovah.

flipper

BOBBI & PARA- Hey guys! Mr. Flipper here. Sorry to hear you are going through this $hit ! I know the feeling ! My youngest daughter ( then 18) tried to blackball Mrs. Flipper and me to my parents who had been respecting my fading of 3 years back last September of 2006 . Well, in time my parents saw my daughter and my ex-wife ( fanatic witness wife ) were just trying to diss me as a fader and cause a commotion in the family. So it was a temporary ( 2 or 3 month setback ) but now my mom and dad, witnesses, are respectful and close to my wife Mrs. Flipper and me. As others here have said , don't let your relatives control you and cause you to be unkind. Be bigger than them . Show them you are not going to shun them - and that their grandchildren miss them . I think your situation can be retrieved with patience, and intelligence, and honesty with them. Just make them aware, like Hortensia said, that the children should have access to their grandparents. But as cautioned- I would be careful leaving them alone with them as they may indoctrinate them . But take it slowly- if the parents refuse to be civil, in time a clean break may need to be made . Just take your time ! Good luck, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

dogisgod

I go with Hortensia and Flipper. So sorry you have all had to go thru this.

LouBelle

put your big toe in the water to feel - take it from there. Family is family - and by your actions maybe juuuuuuuuuust maybe that will open the door.

*primal screaming*

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