so i have already mentioned that i am a member/mod on a forum for survivors of CSA..... it is at best, disturbing, and at worst, horrifying, to have to daily access the telling of truths that illuminate the unlimited, intentional and unbelievable evil people will perpetrate on those most vulnerable, the children and it is also most rewarding to assist those souls on their healing paths as they sift thru the debris and literal carnage to reclaim something of themselves
most often i am able to keep it in perspective and hold it all at arm's length..... but this afternoon there was a thread about cults, SRA linked, and there was discussion about participation in *fferings, and the guilt and shame and body memories that rob individuals of any real peace...... it twisted my guts and led me to tears.....
i cannot imagine the horror of that legacy..... and while the borg doesnt demand fleshly *fferings, i could not help but make the leap that they demand the sl@ughter of family ties and relationships to appease their savage god in order to keep his/their followers in dread and paralyzing fear, brainwashing and programming members to respond to "c@ll b@cks" and cues as they march in lockstep chanting their anthems of paradise and anointed and resurrection hopes
it has become almost unbearably clear to me how evil the leadership truly is and i am sick to my core that my hope, my intent, my fervent wish to "save my children from the world" instead served to strangle their very spirits and warp their world view.... i unknowingly *ffered them to the borg and now truly understand ..... mea culpa mea culpa mea maxima culpa.....