But sometimes true...
"But I am of the 144,000!! I'm Am, I Tell You, I Am!!"by Pete
Let’s share jokes about the 144,000.
How do you know if an “anointed” or a "remnant" guy is a fake or has a screw loose?
1. He always carries with him an ointment to anoint his muscles and joints.
2. Every time he meets the brethren, he offers his right hand for them to kiss.
3. He wears remnant clothing at the Memorial.
4. Before drinking the wine, he inquires about the brand.
5. Before drinking the wine, he raises the goblet, looks around and says, "Cheers!"
6. After drinking the wine, he asks for another shot.
7. He wasn't served the bread and wine (the elders opted not to serve him), so he brought out his own and partook of them.
8. When he was about to eat the bread, his misty-eyed wife was overheard as saying, "Papa, don't!" while one of his 12 children mingled about him as saying, "Gimme some..."
9. Before partaking of either the bread or the wine, he makes a sign of the cross.
10. He partook of the bread and wine but was not talked to afterwards.
11. He partook of the bread and wine but the elders announced, "No partakers."
12. He partook of the bread and wine but only showed up at the KH for the Memorial after an awol of five years.
13. Before going to the Memorial, he was already tipsy but partook of the bread and wine anyway.
14. After the Memorial wherein he partook of the bread and wine, he went to the Blueroom and continued his drinking spree with the elders.
15. Come Memorial day, he goes to the park looking for the grave of Jesus.
16. Whenever he comes to Bethel, he lifts both arms, looks skyward and utters, "Ar-ma-ged-donnn!"
17. He's Chinese and can't pronounce "Jehovah" well -- sounds like "Bo-hooo-daaa."
18. He knows his number: "I'm the 143,999th member."
19. Instead of saying, "I'm one of 144,000," he says, "I'm 144,000."
20. He’s telling everybody including the police.
How do you know if an “anointed” or a "remnant" guy is a genius?
He partakes of the bread and wine, wears thick eyeglasses, looks like Einstein and is only 12 years old.
How do you know if an “anointed” or a "remnant" guy is for real?
You never know, but most likely, he looks like Mr. Bean while she looks like his girlfriend.
What’s the difference between a “greater remnant” and a “lesser remnant”?
1. A greater remnant calls himself a “faithful and discreet slave” while a lesser remnant is just his faithful slave.
2. A greater remnant partly owns the Watchtower while a lesser remnant just hawks the magazine and can’t even qualify for Bethel.
3. A greater remnant is sterile while a lesser remnant is fertile.
What does a “greater remnant” say on meeting a “lesser remnant”?
1. Do I know you?
2. Okay, what’s the password?
3. What’s your number?
Soundtrack: Beethoven Piano Concerto No. 5 "Emperor" as performed by Krystian Zimerman with the Weiner Philharmoniker conducted by Leonard Bernstein on YouTube