Songs And Experiences.

by Englishman 9 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Englishman

  I don't know if they still have this little gem to start off assembly sessions. Back in my days of dubdom, some raw recruit would often relate to the assembled multitude his/her story of how his/her life was a mess when - Bingo! A chance encounter led them straight into the 'Trooth', and hey look at me everyone, I'm living proof it's the troof!

  I don't know what "Troof'legends you might have heard, but this old chestnut did the rounds for many years. A young woman had been abandoned by her errant husband (Gambler, alkie, adulterer etc) and was at her wits end. The rent was overdue, there was no money for the electricity meter, the larder was bare. She searched down the sides of the chairs and eventually found a sixpenny piece. She quickly dressed the kids and trundled around to the fish and chip shop. Even back then, sixpence was not going to buy any fried fish, but, she reasoned, she could buy enough chips for all 3 of them to eat. She asked to have the chips wrapped to tahe home and off she went. Can you see it comin', folks?

  That's right, she unwrapped her chips from the newspaper and guess what? They had been wrapped up in pages from the latest Watchtower!

  The next part is all very predictable, Bible study, baptism, new dub husband, kids all dressed like Little House on the Prairie kids, respectability, Peter Pan collars and now I'm a pioneer!

  Do they still dole out this stuff at assemblies?

  Englishman.

  Nostalgia isn't what it used to be....
• 

  Xena

  Haven't heard that exact one...but they all start to sound kinda the same after awhile, don't they? This was usually my time to take a restroom break...until they announced from the platform that it was rude to leave to go to the restroom during this time....geez
• 

  Sirona

  Then there was the sister who was abducted by a crazy madman and she prayed to Jehovah. The madman said "who is this Jehovah?" and she proceeded to witness to him (all the while hoping he wouldnt slit her throat) and he suddenly became pacified and let her go....and noone knows where he is now....

  Or when a sister was on the ministry on her own, and she called at a mans house, and she noticed a strange noise behind him of a woman seemingly in pain. She promptly left and got the police....only for them to find the man had someone abducted in his house and tied up (with axe and all ready to kill) and the police (who of course ask these questions of mad-men) asked "why did you let the JW woman get away?" and he said "because of the really big tough looking guy she was with" (presumably with "gabriel" stamped on his forehead) of course the sister was alone....

  Or the man who found a tract on a waste dump and promptly ran to the nearest Kingdom Hall for a bible study.

  Then theres the crazy satan worshipping spiritist who was being harrassed day and night by EVIL spirits (who incidentally told him the future and couldnt say Jehovah), who was held back from answering his door by the spirits when JWs called, but he managed to answer it and as soon as he heard the name Jehovah he felt a million times better, plus the wierd dark shadowy thing stopped lurking about in his house.... and by coincidence at the same time a gypsy called round and sort of ran away in fear at the household that was now "of Jehovah"....

  These are all stories I was told by dubs when I was a dub.

  As for songs....I advise everyone "MAKE THE *TRUTH* YOUR OWN"

  Sirona
• 

  RunningMan

  Actually, the experiences these days are getting so hard to find that
  most of them are simply recited out of the Watchtower.

  However, dredging back from the past, there is the story about the
  burgler who robbed a family, including a copy of the NWT. Many
  years later, he shows up at an assembly and returns the Bible to them.
  Another variation of the story has him hiding under a bed when the family
  comes home, where he finds a NWT and begins reading.

  I plan on having some of my own experiences, too. Every chance I get, I throw
  some WTs into the dumpster, so that the sanitation workers can be saved.
  And, whenever possible, I flush a few pages, for the edification of the
  workers in the sewage treatment plant. Of course, I count them as placements.
• 

  TR

  I'm sure there are many people who have similar experiences with Amway, Mormons, Pentacostals, Moonies, Porn, etc. Why JW's think they've cornered the market on stupid 'I've found the Troof' stories is beyond me.

  TR

  The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
  —Edmund Burke
• 

  Angharad

  There always the one, that two sisters on the ministry, call on a man with savage dogs and he sets it on them, but they call on the name of Jehovah and the dogs stop and run away[8>]
• 

  JeffT

  There's also the one about the guy living out in the boondocks where all waste paper ends up in the outhouse. So he sits down to do his business, picks up the Watchtower the pioneers left him and of course the rest is history.
• 

  Princess

  I have heard those same stories Running Man, I always wondered why the NWT was under the bed.

  Princess (the original)
• 

  Simon

  Chips wrapped in a WatchTower... I've never heard anything so silly. The pages are tiny - you would oly get a few chip... remind me never to go to that chippy !
• 

  ozziepost

  Chips wrapped in a WatchTower... I've never heard anything so silly. The pages are tiny - you would oly get a few chip

  And think of the lack of taste! It wouldn't be the same without the newsprint and a page 3 girl out of the Sun!

  Cheers,
  Ozzie

  "It's better to light a candle than to curse the darkness."
  Anonymous