I have a good friend that is cheating (with her boss) on the guy she lives with. I keep telling her that she needs to either break it off with the boss or move into her own place and away from the boyfriend. The guy she lives with is friends with my husband and me but there are things about him that are troubling. I am so afraid that he is going to start asking me questions and I don't know how to handle it. He's kind of a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde, has been married 3 times before and all of his ex-wives have cheated on him. Has anyone else been in this situation? Any advice is appreciated.
Tricky situation - need some advice
by TweetieBird 6 Replies latest social entertainment
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Gopher
Advice?
One of your friends is cheating. The guy she lives with has issues that trouble you.
Perhaps choosing different / better friends would be a good idea?
If the guy starts asking you questions, maybe refer him to his live-in lover. Why should you have to play mediator?
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chickpea
exactly what gopher said.... if someone wants to know something about another person, that is who the questions need to be directed to
dramas escalate exponentially with each additional source added! just tell the guy " i dont do PR"
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OnTheWayOut
While you want to refer him to her, that's true, it seems that you are worried
that any answers including "I would rather you ask her." will arouse his
suspicions and cause him to go postal on her.Tell her how you feel, brutally honest, then stop worrying about that. She's
a friend putting you in a position. Relieve yourself of the position and pass
it back to her, letting her know so.Otherwise, tell her either you can't be hanging out with her, or (I know- true
friends forever) tell her to withhold information on this from you until she is
ready to deal with it honestly and openly with you. -
R.Crusoe
Is it any wonder he is a Jeckyl Hyde character if ALL his women cheated on him! Next they'll all be saying he made them do it - my how times have reversed!
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TweetieBird
I have told her that I don't want to know about her extra-curricular activities, I am not and have never been able to lie about anything with success and should her boyfriend ever ask me something, I may have to throw her under the bus because of it. I don't agree with what she is doing but I do understand why she is doing it. She is ready to leave him, doesn't love him but doesn't want to hurt him. I told her that she is hurting him more by staying with him and being dishonest. At least if she breaks up with him, even though it will crush him he will be able to move on and find someone else that loves him in return.
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DJK
You said you are friends with both of them. I would get uninvolved with both of them until the situation finds a way to resolve itself without you getting caught in the middle.