OK Kids, tell your funniest experience with the school.

by Tired of the Hypocrisy 7 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Tired of the Hypocrisy

  I will share two funnies about the same school conductor and bible reader.

  The first one has the kid doing the bible reading. He wrapped up a pretty lousy job of reading and sat down. The conductor continued to sit and the platform was left unoccupied...HORRORS! The mike adjuster guy went to WAKE the school conductor who rose with a start and said "what?!!" Then he said oh ok. He went to the podium and said very good, excellent, excellent young brother. We'll give you a G for tonight.

  A couple months later this same kid rotated back into reading and this time the conductor stayed awake. Another deplorable reading job, about as bad as the first one. He wrapped up and sat down and the conductor said he was going to send him home with the assignment for his father to teach him how to read!!!!

  Who's next?
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  WTWizard

  My funniest experiences are always when no one with parts is there. They scramble for substitutes, and no one is willing to volunteer. They end up having to dispense with a whole talk, and it ends about 10 minutes early.

  I hope that happened when I blew off my last talk.
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  dinah

  We had a really big family who attended our congo. It was an elder, hif wife and their 6 children. Well, he had about half of the brood on stage to demonstrate a family study. They had several chairs on stage for the family to sit in. The elder/daddy's chair had one leg on the edge of the stage. When he sat down, the chair flipped and he landed in front of the stage.

  Leave it to me to laugh--out loud no less. I think I got pinched.
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  LouBelle

  I had three personal funny experiences.

  1.. I'm in the main hall and it's my turn to give a talk - I get up, walk onto the stage sit down and proceed to give the talk - not realising that my skirt hadn't neatly fallen in place, it was instead all stuffed up on the side of the chair exposing my whole, thigh / leg to the entire hall.

  2.. another talk - and a spider goes hoping along the table top & to my utter suprise I say this out aloud, ""oh look a spider uuuugggh hate them"" flick it off and proceed.

  3.. another talk I start off with ""it's so sad when dead loved ones die"" well that was me, I started laughing at this mistake, then composed myself, apologised and started again - I was actually councelled about this as death wasn't a funny matter.
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  Mary

  I bet one of the elders---who was a close friend at the time-----that he couldn't counsel me with a straight face and we bet a case of beer. Sure enough, after I gave my talk, he started counselling me, I look at him with crossed-eyes and he burst out laughing, then proceeded to tell the entire congregation from the platform about our bet. Everyone laughed their asses off.

  And yep, I got me a 2-4 of Rickard's Red the very next day.

  I was bad for trying to make the elders laugh while on the platform. When the PO was taking the WT study one day, he purposely kept asking other people instead of me, but would look back at me. I'd roll my eyes at him, then make a motion of my finger across my neck and for the pièce de résistance, I mouthed "I love you!" I think it took every bit of will power for him not to burst out laughing.
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  nomoreguilt

  My dear mother, since passed, was a true died in the wool jw. She had a great knowledge of the bible, and a great sense of humour to go along with it. She had recently remarried,an elder and had moved into his home and hence his congregation, which by the way was my own.

  So, not long after this, she was assigned her first talk in the school. It was about creation yada yada. So going along the gist of living things, she made the statement that jehovah had thus created the first ..............LIVING ORGASM......... !! (organism).

  Needless to say the whole cong was laughing their asses off. Poor mom, they never let her forget that one.

  NMG
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  WTWizard

  Oh yes, I forgot the one person who had a talk that got cancelled for snow. The next time this person had a talk, they cancelled the meeting because they were working on the parking lot.

  I always liked it when they cancel meetings.
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  dogisgod

  LOL Mary, you are great!