dealing with shunning

serenaj92

I had a nonreligious email that was just cute and funny and sent it to everyone I considered a friend. Some were witnesses. One gal, Sara, sent me a letter of reply. I quit going to the kingdom hall for several reasons. She stopped by and told me she missed once when the CO was in town and I told her if that was the case, she should keep in touch. I desperately wanted to talk to someone but feared it so I relied on Jehovah to show me who my true friends were. I gave up and just wrote a letter of disassociation after 6 months of no contact except when the CO came and MADE them come and visit me. Sara was the one person in the congregation that cried her eyes out, my husband informed me. He was there. I had a cute email to forward and wanted her and a few others to know I was just thinking of them and she never wrote email to me before, but this time she did. She told me "Serena,
Under the present circumstances it would be better not to forward or
send
any e-mail to my address.
Thank you, Sara"
This is the same woman who used to tell me she loved me and loved to have me around. I sent her a response anyhow saying "I still love you guys and want you to know I will always be here for you. I would never treat you this way ever."
I never treated any of them badly, never bring up religion around them and don't try to stumble any of them. I just didn't want to be around the religion. The religion is what is teaching them to act this way towards others. I was right in waiting for Jehovah to show me who my friends really were. And somewhere down the road, if any of them quit or if they don't, I will be there for them too. That is being a Christian. Having unconditional love.
So I just had to post this to get it off my chest. It still hurts when you find out all them that call themselves "the friends" are really phony in the long run.

edward gentry

dont know whether you know this or not kiddo, but I'll say it anyway..
done a lot of research over the past X years into churches that hold to a "truth" and shunning is a format in many of them. Adventists, sci fi cults, all the same. Its ties to the control of information, the channel of truth not wanting any access into the members minds by any other info source, especially dangerous ones that know too much.
THe extreme of information flow control is putting your people in a compound with no external access. Course when you have a church with 5 million members across the planet thats a little hard unless you got a BIG compound.
There are tens of millions other people, some witnesses, some in Larouche,Mormonism and the Elonias foundation all goin thru what your expoeriencing, or a slight variation of same.Its THEM that have to be stopped, not YOU.
Edward

ashitaka

I'm sorry to hear that Serena, but I think that you can find much rewarding friends elseware. I hope you do. Since I left, my heart has been so light-I hope you can forget all of them. Just forget her-some people are hopeless.

All you wanted to do was share something funny.

I'm sorry about it. Take it easy.

ashi

serenaj92

thank you for all your support. how long did it take you to get over this religion when you left?

Grunt

Hi Serena,
I'm sorry you are having to go through the pain of realizing that friends, or even family, who are part of the Jehovah's Witnesses are conditional friends. Conditional in two senses, one in that they are only friends when YOU meet the conditions laid down by the cult headquarters in New York through the Watchtower, and also conditional in that THEY have been conditioned to cut any tie, however close, when it starts to theaten their faith in this sad groups thinly supported belief system. I'm glad you made it out. If your husband still attends I hope he is soon able to see and feel why you left.

I wish you well,

teejay

Serena,

I'm sorry for the terse email you got from someone who you thought was your real friend. I know very well how it made you feel. Been there.

Try not to take it personally. They think they are doing the will of God and to do otherwise would be an act of disobedience to HIM. They also think they are doing YOU a favor, trying to help you see the huge mistake you made. Maybe if you get kicked in the groin enough (they figure) you'll come to your senses and RETURN TO JEHOVAH.

Personally, I hold not a shred of animosity toward any of those who mistreated me when I was df'd. Most of the JWs I've ever known are very decent people... just very indoctrinated, making them abused in nearly every way. To be pitied.

Peace,
tj

Vitameatavegamin

To Teejay,

Well said, my thoughts exactly! I said the same thing to my husband today when we were discussing those who have mistreated us. They don't fully realize the pain they are causing.

Thanks!

Vita

barry

Edward Gentry
You say,done a lot of research over the past x years into churches that hold to a 'truth' and shunning is a format in many of them. Adventists sci fi cults,all the same. Its ties to the control of information,the channel of truth not wanting any access into the members minds by any other source,especially dangerous ones that know too much.
Mate Im an Adventist and Ive never known about shunning until I studied with the witnesses also the variety of beleife in the Adventist Church from Traditional who beleive the unique Adventist doctrines to the evangelical who reject traditional doctrines and are not much different to evangelical Christians to the Adventists who reject the trinity and beleive the Arian view the same as the witnesses would indicate to me your statement is not entirely correct. The reason I go their is they have excellent classes for my two boys with other kids there own age Im of the evangelical type and in the bible study i can as others do question doctrines of the church as a normal part of the study of the scriptures. There have allways been visible conflicting groups within Adventism.
http://web2.airmail.net/billtod/crisda.txt

DIM

the sad fact is that JW's are so brainwashed, they think they are being loving by doing this to you. hang in there!

i'm sick and tired of hearing things from uptight-short-sighted-narrow minded hypocritics. all i want is the truth just gimme some truth - John Lennon

serenaj92

I talked to a friend of mine that has a bachelors in psychology and asked him where the JWs would get such an act like shunning. He said its typical behavior management. Pavlov's dog theory. The only thing is, it wouldn't work on most inteligent humans. They need to change there methods, you think and act of actual loving kindness would kill them? They would be a great religion if they allowed God to actually run it.

dealing with shunning

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